Turn left off the blacktop
by Just that American
Summary: When a certain teacher worries about Ichigo and Rukia's attendance, she sends them to her step cousin's. The two of them are thrown head first into a world of fast cars, moonshining and corrupt government. Language warning
1. I'm from the country

**Just for the record, I own nothing. Bleach is Tite Kubo's. All products mentioned are property of their respective owners **

"Where did Ms Paul say that our host would be?" Rukia looked around, no luck finding anyone who was a stand out.

"I think that's him." Ichigo pointed to a man about 6'6" wearing a cowboy hat and a cut-off T-shirt. He was holding a sign that had Kurosaki and Kuchki in Romanized letters and Japanese characters. The duo walked over to the man.

"Are you Hoss Lohmar?" Rukia asked, feeling fightened by the stranger's sheer size.

"The one and only." the man had a gentle tone in his voice, looking down he saw Rukia in bright blue eyes. The man looked like he hadn't slept in 3 days and hadn't shaved for that long. "And you must me Miss Rukia Kuchki, and that feller over there must be Ichigo, right?" The two of them looked over to see Ichigo struggling with two heavy bags plus his own luggage for a brief second and then fall flat on his face.

"Rukia, a little help here." Ichigo groaned from under the weight of the bags.

"Really? Ya have to have a woman help you?" He walked over and picked one of Ichigo's back like it was nothing, then grabbed another one. "Well, no reason to stay here." and with that, the country boy lead the two out to the airport's parking. Ichigo and Rukia walked past cars with bowties on the fronts, Fords, cars with a ram on the front and stopped at a lifted Jeep with big tires.

"Is this your car?"

"Car, this ain't no car. This is a Jeep XJ, 3 inch Rough Country lift/level kit and Rough Country nitro shocks. The tires are 28" Super Swampers on 15 inch beadlock rims. Everything outside of that is custom made." He opened the back end with one hand. "Lets blow this popsicle stand." as he threw the two bags he was carrying into the back. Ichigo and Rukia could hear Kon starting to yell. Hoss climbed into the Jeep without any problems, same with Ichigo after he lifted Rika in.

(Line break)

The high pitch whine of off road tires changed to the crunching of gravel as the Jeep turned off of blacktop for the last time.

"So, how much farther?" Rukia asked, she wasn't too sure about this, the fact that there was nothing around for miles made her uneasy. She could feel it in Ichigo's spiritual pressure that he felt the same.

"Aw, about 5 miles now. There's a shortcut but it's said that no one ever comes back from Copperhead Road. And I ain't eager to try it." Fear laced the man's voice and Ichigo and Rukia shot each other looks that screamed 'hollow' to each other and anyone who knew them. "So, what did Samantha send you two here for?" The two of Japanese decent looked at each other wild eyed, how did this guy know their English and Foreign language teacher's name.

"How'd you know her name?" Ichigo voiced the concern in the air.

"Simple really, she's my step-cousin. She was worried about you two and a few of your friends, so she's sending y'all to me in an attempt to straighten you out."

"But doesn't she need our parents OK to do this?" Rukia started to worry.

"Ichigo's old man signed the clearance slip and I think your older brother signed yours Rukia. Really ornate penmanship. Almost a sin to put my Hancock under it." Rukia was shocked that her older brother actually agreed to this. Urahara was so going to get it when she got back.

Ichigo however was pissed that Goat-face actually went along with this. He knew that he was fighting to save the Soul Society. 'That asshole,' he thought. 'Hichigo is going to have some fun cutting him to shreds and I may let him.' Ichigo thought.

"And we're here." The quiet voice broke the two from their thoughts. The house was one story, spread out on a lot of land, there was several trucks in the driveway and a small girl playing on the blacktop. A one ton truck sat off to the side with a trailer hooked up to it. Hoss pulled the Jeep into a garage stall and parked it. "Ichigo, go get your stuff put in the house, I'll need your help to get some chores done." Ichigo shot him a look, "And yes, this is a working vacation."

"Stupid Goat-face, he knows what I do now when I'm not at school. That summer when I went to Soul Society to save Rukia, Hat and Clogs told him. He was there in the Winter War." Ichigo grumbled under his breath. The house had an open floor plan, so he set his bags near the door.

Outside, Hoss was working a chain on a block and tackle to get a large plastic bag made out of a tarp-like material onto the trailer. He was shoving the bag, yanking on the chains and cursing worst than Ichigo in the heat of battle.

"Ichigo, get your damned ass over here." Hoss bellowed struggling with the chains. Ichigo shot over like a rocket. Looking at Hoss, his bright, but tired blue eyes were an alarming shade of green. "Help me get this damned bag onto the trailer. I've got to pick three more up. Far forward as we can go now." Ichigo shoved against the bag and it moved all to easily. His feet slid on the smooth wood trailer deck. "Easy Ichigo, easy, good, stop, stop, STOP! STOP! STOP GOD DAMNIT!" The bag slid into the trailer's end that hooked onto the truck. The whole truck moved forward and the bag ripped open.

"SHIT!" Ichigo yelled. Hoss pushed the bag back and grabbed a roll of duck tape on the truck bed and used it to cover the hole. As if this was routine, he grabbed a wide yellow strap and threw it over the bag and ran around to hook it onto the trailer and tighten it down.

"Come on, we got a long way to go, and a short time to get there." Hoss called up to Ichigo, who was confused but jumped off the trailer and climbed into the truck none the less as Hoss started the engine.

The two rode in the truck for a while with the radio playing music with guitars and fiddles. Ichigo watched out the window as the gravel roads changed into poorly maintained blacktop. That was until Hoss took an unplanned turn and the truck threw Ichigo into the door.

"Pay attention boy." Hoss jabbed at Ichigo. "your in the country now." All Ichigo could do was grumble as the truck bounced again. He looked around and saw that they were in an empty field near a large green tractor and another truck. Hoss brought the truck to a stop and parked the transmission.

"Hey Hoss, how's the Duramax?"

"Needing an overhaul. But can't afford to take her out of service for that long." Ichigo got out and walked around the front. "Tom, this is that kid my step-cousin told us about."

"Oh yeah, that one that's constantly ditching classes. Nice to meet you. Pull any of that around here and things aren't going to go good at all." Ichigo gulped as Tom's face got darker. Then everything went back to normal as the tractor swung a green and black pipe out over the trailer. Hoss had already got out another bag and had it sitting on the trailer.

"Alright, lets get this thing loaded." he called out.

(Line Break)

Rukia looked out one of the windows as the truck pulled into the driveway with a rumble and a squeal as it stopped. Ichigo got out and was covered with dust. Same went for Hoss but his face was hardened as the two of them came into the house.

"….and when you finish washing up, take off those shoes. I got an old pair of Redwings you can use until we can get to town. After dinner we have to run those bags to the elevator. Tomorrow we have an auction to go to early. Walk arounds are until 7. We'll have to leave here by 4:30. No go on and wash up." Hoss pointed Ichigo into the bathroom and Hoss walked into another room. The phone rang and within a second the phone was picked up.

"Oi. Rukia. Where'd Hoss disappear too?" Before Rukia could make a reply, there was muffled yelling catching both of their attentions.

"I don't care what the FBI and IRS are tracking. They don't know where the you-know-what is and that's all important. My Camaro can out run them no problem. Tell you what, I'm in for a while meet, me here. I think the line's been tapped."

No doubting that the voice was Hoss. Ichigo and Rukia had ears against the wall and trying to listen into the conversation. The door creaked open and both of them almost jumped out of their bodies. Quietly the two walked over to the table and sat down just before Hoss came out. He grabbed a plate of food and set it on the table. After the plate was set down. Ichigo and Rukia looked at him as he sat down for dinner.

"Well, go on and dig in." The two of them gently took food off of the plate and ate.

"So what was that yelling about?" Rukia asked with Ichigo looking like he was about to drop over dead and Hoss looking somewhat shocked.

"Ya heard that? Well, basically I've been having some problems with money. Taxes have gone up and that corrupt jerk at Springfield. Everyone's been helping pay the taxes on the farm." Hoss looked downcast and before Ichigo or Rukia could say anything, there was a loud banging on the door. Hoss shot up and disappeared around the corner. When he reappeared, there was Tom and another, taller man with him. The three opened a door and Hoss let the other two go through first.

"I'll be back up in a bit. Go ahead and finish." With that he shut the door.

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia walked around the farm buildings. Hoss told the two of them that they could walk around for a while and look around while he tended to some business deals. The duo walked into a large wooden barn only to be met by a sliding door. Ichigo grabbed the handle and pulled on it to open the door.

"Ichigo, I don't think we should go in there." Rukia looked at the door with a worried look.

"Hoss said to look around. If we are going to stay here for a while, might as well look around." With that Ichigo heaved the door open. Behind was a flat black muscle car. In fact the flashiest part of the car was the brake rotors. Ichigo had seen cars like this in the magazines in his father's waiting room. Rukia of course had never seen anything like it.

"What is it Ichigo?"

"It looks like a Chevrolet Camero. But I've never seen one like this before." Ichigo looked around to the open hood. Like the rest of the car, everything was flat black. Chad tried to teach him basic engine knowledge without much success when Isshin's generator needed to be rebuilt. Rukia walked around the muscle car in awe at the design and the flat black paintwork. That was until a piece of yellow paper on the trunk hatch caught her attention.

"Ichigo, what's this?" Rukia handed Ichigo the slip, her modern Japanese was OK but her ability to read English was lacking. Although Ichigo himself was no pro.

"It says 'Shine run, deliver 20 cases to Boar's inn. 2 cases to Country Hall. Watch out for bears on I-80, County Mounties on Rural Route 12. Inspect lead on gov. shining.' I have no idea what this means." Ichigo and Rukia shot confused looks at each other.

"It means I should of hid my shine orders better." Both turned around to see Hoss standing in the doorway, the last rays of sunlight reflecting off of a bright steel item under his arm. A pistol.


	2. Who are you?

**Same deal as last time, I own nothing. Bleach is Tite Kubo's. All brands are property of their respective owners. I would of left one, but this guy in a fancy suit showed up next to me with a fancy worded document. **

Ichigo moved to protect Rukia if Hoss was to start shooting, but it never happened. Instead Hoss looked tired and disappointed as he took the paper from Rukia.

"Remember how I told you that everyone had to do another job to help out on the farm? Well, I was put on a work blacklist my the governor. He used to live next to me, just up the road. For some reason the man always hated my guts and when he got the office of Governor, his political power went to his head." Setting the paper down on the trunk lid, Hoss looked at the two. "What do you say to going in and getting you two settled?"

Ichigo and Rukia walked outside. Instead of the slightly cloudy sky when they went into the barn, the sky was dark and rain had started to fall. Hoss instantly swore and took off to his truck, pulling it into a barn with a squealing of tires. Hoss soon flagged them over to the house after his truck was in. Leading them down a flight of stairs, they came to a very nicely finished basement. In the center was another table and a small kitchen. On the other side of the kitchen was a hallway with doors. Hoss led the duo through and pointed out various rooms.

"Storage closet's here, bathroom, Rukia, your room's here. Feel free to decorate it how you wish, just don't tear up the walls too bad. Ichigo your across the hall. Mine's at the end, feel free to knock if you need anything. Rec room and a guest bedroom are at the other end." He stopped before turning to Ichigo. "We can't go to the elevator tonight. You go ahead and get a shower, your bags are in your room. There's a pair of my old redwings in there. Regular shoes don't fly around here." No sooner than he walked back upstairs, Rukia turned to Ichigo.

"Think we should check out that Copperhead road tonight?" Ichigo said looking straight ahead

"No way. What if he wakes you up earlier than he said he would, more importantly, do you even know where Copperhead road is?" Rukia yelled at him.

(Line break)

Hoss stood upstairs listening to the antics in the guest rooms. His parents had already picked up his sister earlier that day so he was off for a shine run.

Rain beat down on the roof of the barn housing his Camaro, Black Widow, and started prepping for the trip. The tank was full of his own blend of fuel grade moonshine, the suspension was dialed up and everything was adjusted for a rainy run. Just as he finished loading up the crates of shine into the trunk, shutting it with a slam.

"What are you doing?" He turned around on a dime and saw Rukia in the barn's light.

"Rukia, what are you doing out here? And no jacket. That rain's killer this time of year." But before he could say anything else, the phone rang. Hoss picked it up in a hurry

"Hello?"

"_Hoss? It's me, we got a problem, get over here and keep the cops busy while we get out the last of this batch of shine. Cops are coming your way." _With that, the line went dead.

Hoss swore under his breath. Faced with a catch 22, he made a choice for the best decision.

"Rukia, get in the car, and hurry." The petite girl ran and jumped in the car as Hoss opened the door. Forcing the door open with a shove, all the lights were put out with the flick of a switch and he was back in the Camaro. Turning the key, a deep rumble filled the room. The transmission was dropped into first gear and the parking brake was off just as the blue and red lights of the police came into view. He popped the clutch as the wheels spun and bit into the concrete floor providing a hard launch. Once away from the farm, he flipped the master switch for all the lights.

Rukia held on tight as Hoss messed with the pedals on his side and the lever in between them. The rumble turned into a roar with a screaming behind them and blue and red lights. Rukia knew from some of the movies Ichigo watched that they were American police. Hoss showed no intentions of slowing down. The rain blew down hard on the windshield as he slid sideways around a gravel corner.

(Line Break)

Ichigo paced around the room. Rukia said she was going to try and talk to Hoss for a map or something of the area. That was 15 minutes ago. That was it, he decided to take matters into his own hands. Unzipping his bag, a yellow lion plushie

"RUKIA!" The plushie yelled out as it shot out of his bag, only to realize Rukia wasn't there. Flapping his arms wildly, he hung in the air for a second before landing on the carpet with a squeak.

"Damnit Kon. You suck worst at detecting spiritual power more than me." Ichigo replied with a sigh before picking the mod-soul up by the head and fishing the pill out of the body. "I need to search for her." He swallowed the pill and was forced out of his body. "So keep tabs on everything while I'm out. And don't screw anything up." With that, Ichigo launched himself into the fastest shunpo he could without Banki.

He soon found the flat black muscle car flying down a blacktop road. Rain fell onto the windshield and blew off from the force. Running along side, he could see the brake rotors glowing cherry red as Hoss headed into a corner. Police cars slid off the road behind him. Ichigo watched from his perch. Rukia was sitting in the passenger seat holding onto the belts for dear life.

(Line Break)

Hoss had his hands full, a whole heard of cops were nipping at his heels, one screw up and he was spending 5 years at least in Federal prison. A head of orange hair caught his eye and running along side the car was Ichigo. Thing was Ichigo was wearing black robes and had a huge sword on his back. Of course the lack of concentration meant that he had lost time to set up for the corner coming up. All he could do now was lock up the rear brakes and ride out the slide with the throttle. The GM rear axle turned loose the power from the 454 through the locker and to the tires that squealed in protest. Rukia was thrown against the side of the car. More police slid off the side of the road and into ditches now full of water from the rain. The tires hooked back up, no police and clear sailing to the drop off after Rukia was back at the farm.

(Line Break)

Hoss rolled the Camero into the driveway. Rukia climbed out, very shaken up, but alright none the less. No sooner than she was in, he did a smokey doughnut to turn around and flew down the road, en route to a building 100 miles away. With his foot hard down on the throttle, the 454 roared in protest and bellowed, forcing the Camero to its top speed of 175 miles an hour. Before long, Hoss had another flat black car, a 2009 Dodge Charger came right up behind him, bump drafting before pulling out to pass.

"_Hey Black Widow, hey Black Widow,. Got a copy come on?_" Hoss grabbed onto a CB mike.

"I got a copy on ya Black Betty come on."

"_Smokys are incoming on our back doors. So petal to the metal and foot to the floor." _On cue, another thunk came from the back bumper and the black Charger came past just as a cop came up. Both cars swerved, but the cop went right behind Hoss as the Charger, Black Betty shot off the road, bounced up a road at a 90 degree crossing, sliding sideways, and then sliding off the side before rolling and the car catching on fire. Hoss watched the fire, praying the driver could crawl out. But he couldn't stop and help because the police would arrest and incarcerate him on several accounts of moon shining and numerous others he didn't even commit.

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia had looked all over the house for a map of the area before going Soul Reaper and planning to navigate by feeling only. Rukia's Soul Pager and Ichigo's badge didn't go off, however the phone in the house went off and Ichigo got back in his body and answered. His face palled considerably while listening to the message.

"Rukia, someone just died in a car accident."

(Line Break)

Hoss backed Black Widow into her stall in his barn and shut off the engine. He had seen car accidents before, but people usually could escape from the cars. Moonshining was dangerous, and the cars he and his fellow shiners were running were pushed to the absolute limit. Chrome molly shafts, Detroit lockers, heavy duty parts all the way around, heck, the engines they ran were basically drag race engines with F-1 style transmissions. Unspoken rules were that they all had full roll cages. Appearently there was not much that could be done after Tom's car flipped after jumping Copperhead Road.

With a heavy head and heart, he headed into the house, knowing he had to find another driver for shine runs.

(Line Break)

Ichigo snored softly, that was until a loud electric guitar riff shook his room. Kon came running out from under Ichigo's bed yelling. Running directly into Hoss in the process.

"Ichigo, why the hell did that stuffed lion run at me?"

"Busted Ichigo!"

"Kon, SHUT UP!"


	3. Sold

**Hey folks just let me say one thing. I own nothing. Tite Kubo owns bleach. **

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><p>"So, let me see here. Ichigo, you were a normal guy who could see the spirits of the recently deceased. Rukia, you were a Shinigami stationed in Karakura to deal with corrupt souls called hollows." Both accused parties nodded as the information was said. "You gave Ichigo your powers to protect his family and then your temporary Shinigami powers awoke Ichigo's true Shinigami powers." Hoss held his head in one hand and a cup of strong coffee in the other. "So, let me ask one question, what does a talking teddy bear have to do with this?" Hoss rubbed the bridge of his nose with confusion etched on his weather hardened face.<p>

"Hey, I'm not a teddy bear!" Kon yelled as he jumped up onto the table before being swatted by Ichigo to Hoss who spiked him like a volleyball to the floor.

"Kon's a modified soul I got for Ichigo so he could exit his body while he still had my powers. I thought he was a Chappy soul candy." Hoss had more confusion on his face as Rukia continued, "Soul candy is technology that shinigami use to exit their gigais." Hoss nodded still holding his head as he processed the information. His coffee cup moved to his head full and came back down empty. In seconds he was up with his hands pushing him up from the table.

"Well, we have to get moving. Rukia, you need to stay here in case someone comes here for something. A few friends of mine dropped their running cars here for some work and using my specialty tools. They know where everything is. Ichigo, you are coming with me today to the auction." Hoss moved over to the small stove and started making eggs.

(Line break)

Hoss and Ichigo walked out to one of the barns and Hoss shoved opened the sliding door revealing a large semi. Hoss gestured to Ichigo to get into the passenger seat. The two of them were in the cab and Hoss cranked up the Cummins engine with a roar.

What is this thing anyway Hoss?"

"it's a Kenworth C500 with a Cummins Engine and an 18 speed transmission semi. I have to get a van today for hauling stuff around to the fields." Hoss looked at Ichigo before putting the truck in gear, letting off the air brakes and letting out the clutch. The engine growled in protest but got the truck moving easy enough.

(Line break)

Hoss brought the Kenworth to a stop in a grassy field between two pickups with trailers that had followed them up. Hoss had told Ichigo that they were other friends of his and they needed some equipment at the auction too. Before they got out of the truck, Hoss handed Ichigo something.

"That's money for you to buy something you want. There are all sorts of stuff here. Old cars are common at the these auctions." Ichigo took the wallet and opened it up to see several bills with 100 on them, a few with 50 and a mix of 20, 10 and 5. "Now, your my responsibility, Don't you dare buy a car thinking about running shine with me. This is my battle and your staying out." Hoss growled, his blue eyes turning green again before changing back to blue. The two of them got out of the cab and started looking around the auction grounds. But to both of them, something felt off.

(Line break)

Rukia walked around the farm property inspecting a few oddities she found including farm implements and a semi water tanker sitting out back. All of this equipment caught her attention as she walked around until she stopped at a large tracked piece of equipment with a blade on the front as tall as she was. Rust covered the surface in spots with faded yellow paint. As she was about to look at the machine closer, her soul pager started going crazy. A quick glance at the screen made her eyes open wide.

"Oh no."

(Line break)

"And now for our next lot, number 187, a 53 foot reefer van. Looks good folks. Lets start the bidding at ten thousand dollars." With that the auctioneer went off and a bidding war started up. Hoss bidding hard with several friends hid through the crowd to help him.

"Do I got 25, 25, 25, 25 going once, going twice, sold to the gentleman in the cowboy hat, thank you sir. Next item is this US army surplus gasoline tanker. She's a beauty with a multifuel engine, automatic transmission and a ten thousand gallon tank on her back. Lets start the bidding at…." No one got a chance to bid on the truck because the whole truck exploded. Everyone ran for their lives, but Hoss could see that there was something else that caused the explosion. A creature with a hole in its chest, vulture like wings and a snake tail and to conform any suspicions, a mask over its face.

"Damn." Hoss muttered, pulling his revolver out of its holster. As soon as he was about to pull the trigger, a flash of orange shot past him and right into the kill zone. Ichigo was using sword shaped like a kitchen knife the size of him to slash at the hollow before another flash appeared next to him, it was Rukia.

"Hoss, get out of here. Your in danger, run for it." Ichigo belted out before Rukia smacked him upside the head.

"You idiot. How can he here us?"

"Strange part is I can." Hoss' deep voice interrupted the argument between Ichigo and Rukia. The two of them stopped to look at Hoss long enough to see him shoot at a hollow and hit it in the arm and the hollow swatted at him and knocked him through a wall and knocking him out.

(Line break)

The radar room in the Squad 12 barracks were far from excitement. The members of Squad 12 assigned to the radar room usually had to detect hollows in their section of the world and send the reports to the resident Shinigami stationed in the area. Some areas, like Karakura had enough activity to warrant multiple radar monitors while areas that had less than one hollow a week were frequently merged with areas of equal activity nearby. In fact, it wasn't uncommon for a city to be monitored by many squad 12 members and for the surrounding area to be monitored by one. Yoshida Shinjiro was a new member of Squad 12 and had been assigned to a very large, very boring sector. Although he started after the Ryoka invasion and the betrayal of the captains of squad 3, squad 6 and squad 9, his job was only slightly better than squad 4 cleaning up Mayuri's examination room. They never came out quite the same and they went through the members just as fast.

Yoshida sighed. He had been informed that the Substitute Shinigami and Rukia in Squad 13 were in his sector, but no new activity came out until the screen started beeping and a red flashing dot appeared.

"Oh boy some action to see." Yoshida thought happily, the blip of a hollow appeared and he instantly forwarded the coordinates to Rukia's soul pager. He sat back and watched the blip, waiting for it to disappear as the hollow was purified, but the blip was still there. Another blip, this time a orange one came up.

"What the.." Yoshida zoomed in on the area. "Oh no, LUTIENTANT!"

(Line break)

Rukia held Hoss's unconscious form by the arm over her shoulder and was dragging him away from the hollow Ichigo was keeping busy. Healing Kido managed to fix some of the more major damage to Hoss' body but he was still going to be sore and stiff when he woke up.

"BANKAI!" Ichigo bellowed as his banki, Tenga Zangetsu was released. Rukia took it as her cue to get Hoss onto her shoulders and get him the hell out of there. As Rukia tried to do just that, Hoss lifted himself up with her assistance.

"No Rukia, You two are my responsibility. I can deal with this." His voice was low, and since it was deep already, it was clear that he meant business. Back on his feet, Hoss walked up, grabbed his revolver and held it straight out from him like he wanted to fire it.

"Shine your heavenly light down on the world, Moon Goddess."

(Line Break)

"This is very interesting." Captain Kurosuchi, the captain of Squad 12 cackled. Although he wore the captain's hatori, his face made him look like a clown. "Nemu. Go to this section of the World of the Living and find the source of this disturbance and attempt to bring it back alive." Nemu just nodded and left for the senkimon.

(Line Break)

Kiuske Urahara watched the international news with interest as they cut to a shot from a rural channel showing a farm auction and all of a sudden a truck exploded. Of course, not being the humble shop keeper that he claims. Kiuske Urahara is in fact the exiled captain of Squad 12, a very keen researcher, and supplier of Soul Society delicacies to stationed Shinigami in the World of the Living. Next to him was Uryu Idisha a Quincy and Ichigo's rival/friend along with Ichigo and Rukia's other friends Chad and Orihime.

"You see, Ichigo's Spiritual Pressure attracted a hollow from Hueco Mundo it a low spiritual activity area. No doubt he's already got more coming."

'Yes, we can see that Urahara, but what does that have to do with us?" Uryu asked trying to strategize what he was doing.

"Simple, you three are going to join them. Your plane leaves tonight." Uryu and Chad's faces greyed while Orihime squealed.

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia looked on in amazement. Hoss had just released a zanpackto, full moon shining over his head in broad daylight and was still living. Bullets plowed into the hollow's mask, purifying it and sending the soul to the Soul Society. With the hollow gone, the zanpackto in Hoss' hand resealed itself into his regular revolver and he dropped to his knees panting hard.


	4. Girls Girls Girls

**Hey, I'm back. Once again, I don't own Bleach, Tite Kubo does, no money of any sort has been made off this. **

**BTW, Happy 4th of July to those of you who are in the United States of America. **

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><p>"Come on, I got a trailer to pick up." Hoss grunted as he picked himself up off the ground, holstered his revolver and started to hobble away, Ichigo and Rukia looked confused but followed him after Ichigo got back into his body before the paramedics and police could find it. Hoss wrote a check for the trailer and left Ichigo and Rukia to their own devices while he got his semi hooked up to the trailer. Rukia went to do damage control from the hollow, leaving Ichigo near the payment table and near several old cars. His eyes scanned the rows up and down, nothing standing out until his eyes came to a stop on a black 2 door model, there were chrome bumpers and chrome emblems on the side that had 'Nova' written in ornate pen.<p>

"Hey, how much for that car over there?" Ichigo asked a man who was behind the payment table.

"That Nova? Well, all the metal's there, but no engine and its an automatic transmission. The previous owner was in the process of restoring it. So all the body's good. Three thousand." Ichigo took out his wallet Hoss gave him and counted some bills. Three thousand, perfect.

"I'll take it." Ichigo handed the man the money and the man handed Ichigo a piece of paper with the make, model and year of the car.

(Line Break)

Head Captain Yamamoto stood at the head of the Captains of the 13 court guard squads. The senkimon in the Squad 12 barracks had started to open, but was shut due to no clearance from him.

"Captain Kurosuchi, your actions to send your Lieutenant to the World of the Living swiftly was appreciated, but it would be a better option if we sent the Stealth Force Captain Soi Fon to look into this." The two associated captains nodded in agreement as Head Captain ended the meeting.

(Line break)

Ichigo and Hoss were working on pushing Ichigo's new car into the trailer Hoss just bought for transport. Rukia had since left to reclaim her gigai.

"Come on Ichigo, push. Put your back into it. My grandma could do better than you!" Hoss grunted as he stopped the Nova from rolling backwards on the ramps as Ichigo stopped shoving the empty car shell. "Damn it Ichigo, get pushin!" Hoss grunted louder as the orange haired teen looked around trying to find something but was stopped as the Nova rolled back down the ramps, over him and Hoss, knocking the two of them on the ground.

"Damn it Ichigo! I told ya to get your head out of the clouds!"

(Line Break)

Uryu, Chad and Orihime walked past the baggage claim, all three only having carry-on baggage. Their airfare was paid courtesy of Urahara Shop but as part of the deal, Urahara had to accompany them along with Yoruichi, in cat form. The blonde ex-captain store owner walked over to the conveyor belt carrying luggage, but no cat carrier holding the cat woman showed.

"Uh, I wonder where Yoruichi's carrier went." Orihime and Chad got nervous, but Uryu concentrated on tracking the cat woman's Spiritual power. What he could track was surprising.

(Line Break)

A tall, lanky man stood behind a desk, black stetson covering his head took a cat carrier from another man just on the other side of his desk.

"We found this cat on a plane from Japan. The forwarding address is to Hoss' residence." "Good, very good." The man with the black stetson stood up and moved to a map, black ankle length jacket fluttering in his wake.

"What would you like us to do?" the other man looked nervous and excited.

"Keep close surveillance on Hoss' shipments both international and local. We will strike tonight at the Country Hall." The black clothed man stood by his desk as he opened the cat carrier and took out the occupant feline and started to pet her.

(Line Break)

The hissing of air from brakes brought Hoss' Kenworth to a stop in his farmyard. Ichigo jumped down and Hoss was already in back opening the doors and getting out the 4x6 boards they found at the auction for ramps. Rukia watched from the sidelines as Hoss and Ichigo climbed, well in Ichigo's case climbed then fell over the front of the Nova and shoved it down the ramps and let it roll into the yard coming to a stop in the grass.

"Now Ichigo, I have to go out and work in the fields a bit then we have to clean up for a party at the honky tonk down the road. If you want, start pulling the automatic transmission out of the nova and get it up on jacks. We can work in it tomorrow. You can shove it in here." Hoss led Ichigo into a metal building with two doors in front and one in the back. Inside were different pieces of machinery in different states of repair ranging from fully apart to completely back together.

"Just shove it in here and you can use anything you need Ichigo." Hoss pointed to an area of the shop that was empty and them walked out to a tractor sitting next to a shed.

(Line Break)

Uryu, Chad Orihime and Urahara were in a taxi just outside the airport. The man driving was half asleep for the middle of the day.

"Do you know where a man named Hoss lives?" Urahara was lost somewhat so Uryu was more or less drafted into talking.

"Well shoot, Hoss ain't gonna be home when I get y'all there, but I know where he's at." The man spoke with a thick accent and Uryu didn't understand a word he said, he just nodded and the cab took off.

(Line Break)

Captain Soi Fon, joined by Captains Ukitake and Shunsui waited for the senkimon to be opened.

"So what made you tag along Shunsui?" Ukitake looked at his long time friend.

"Well, someone has to be able to get you back to squad 4 if you get sick. And besides I heard this section of the world has a great alcohol that you can only get in certain places." Really now, what is this stuff?"

"I think its called moonshine or White Lightning. I'm not sure." With a grunt from Soi Fone, the three captains walked through to the world of the living.

(Line Break)

Hoss stood in front of his house, his trademark white Stetson on his head, cleaned up, Black Widow by his side already loaded up with shine, boots shined up and ready to go.. Except for the short raven haired woman and the tall orange haired teen.

"Come on you two. We got a long way to go and a short time to get there!" Hoss bellowed just as Rukia came out dressed to the nines and Ichigo in a pair of Hoss' jeans and boots because he made the mistake of wearing his shoes out into the yard during the day. The two of them climbed in Black Widow and Hoss started doing his thing.

(Line Break)

Two police officers sat in a standard issue cruiser taking radar as cars passed by on a lonely stretch of road. The night was just beginning and the two of them, one young, ink still drying on the graduation papers, the other an older gentleman who knew everyone in the area were both starting to drift off. That was until the loud screaming of a Chevrolet 454 shot past them. "There's goes Hoss Randy." The older officer said to his new recruit while starting the car.

"Are we going to go after him Paul?" Randy asked, all tiredness chased out of his system from the roar of the engine.

"Nah, we're just going to have some fun and meet him at the Country Hall." Paul started the engine and stuck the car in drive. "You can learn a lot from him and how he handles Black Widow." Paul hit the throttle chasing after the flat black Camero.

(Line Break)

Hoss looked into his rear view mirrors and saw blue and red police lights. He swore until a familiar voice came over his CB radio.

"_Hey Black Widow, guess whose got your back door." _

"Well mercy sakes Smokey Papa Bear. Long time since I've seen you in this twenty." Hoss held the mike in his hand as he shifted for the corner up ahead.

"_I got me a new cub for a while. Mind if we join you at the Hall?"_

"Mercy saked, you don't even have to ask." Hoss turned through the corner and then put the petal to the metal and the hammer to the floor.

(Line Break)

A taxi pulled up in front of a rough looking bar with all sorts of cars parked out front with the hoods open. Near the rear was a line of completely flat black cars. A Dodge Charger, Challenger, Pontiac Firebird, Ford Mustang, Corvette, Plymouth Fury, and a Chevrolet Chevelle were in their own ranks. Something told the party getting out of the taxi that they were in for some trouble.

"Hoss'll be here in a few minutes. Looks like we beat him. Good luck." With that the cab driver pulled away leaving Urahara, Uryu, Chad and Orihime stuck in the middle of no where at a rough bar in the middle of a car show.

"Look, we have to stay together. If one of us lags behind, we are an easy target. So…" Uryu was left speachless as Orhime ran off to look at a pink Cadillac, Chad went to look at a Road Runner, and Urahara was at the bar getting to know and get drunk with the locals.

(Line Break)

Hoss tapped the brakes as he brought the Black Widow in between a Mustang named the Black Night and the black Challenger, named Black Dog. Ichigo and Rukia climbed out.

"Alright you two, I'm going to take the shine in. Ichigo, I could use some help. Rukia, you'll be as safe as in your mother's arms here." Hoss said as he walked away from the car with a crate of shine on each shoulder and Ichigo behind struggling with one. Rukia looked around and saw a familiar head sticking out above the crowd.

"Sado?"

(Line Break)

Ichigo was right behind Hoss waiting to be relieved of his payload of shine until a familiar striped hat caught his eye. His arms forgot about the pure 110 proof alcohol in the crate as his eyes processed who he saw. Thankfully Hoss caught said crate before its contents were all over the floor.

"Hat and Clogs?"

(Line Break)

"Ichigo!" Urahara cried out when he saw the orange haired teen walk up.

"Friend of yours Ichigo?" Hoss asked.

"You could say that. He trained me to regain my powers although he is a pain at times." Hoss caught the case of shine and hoisted it up onto the bar. Urahara got up and looked at Hoss from head to toe several times before reaching his conclusion.

"So, you're the source of the strange spiritual pressure that's been coming from here."

"Wait a minute, how can you detect his spiritual pressure from Japan and not mine from the next city over?" Ichigo yelled, getting strange looks from bar patrons.

"Simple Kurosaki, your spiritual power is vast, uncontrolled and does what ever it wants. Hoss' is more refined, a bit rough around the edges and not as vast. Therefore easy to track." Urahara stated as if it was obvious. Hoss started to slip away but Urahara caught him. "Where are you going?"

"Do my favorite thing, chase skirts." Hoss said as he started to head into a crowd. That was until blue and red lights danced from the windows.

"IT'S THE COPS!"


	5. Won't get fooled again

**Hey, same deal as last time, I own nothing. **

* * *

><p>People were running all over the place, several were running for cars, starting them up and peeling out of the parking lot and around the police cars. Hoss ran back to Ichigo and Urahara.<p>

"Listen, Ichigo, go get Rukia and get in the back seat of Black Widow and lay down. Leave one of the windows down so I can jump right in. Urahara, you can talk to Ichigo at my house. Find a car that has Black Night on the front fender and tell the guy who drives it to take you to my place." With that Hoss ran out the door, revolver in hand.

"Well Ichigo, I suppose that I'd better find Orihime, Chad and Uryu." Ichigo's eyes went wide as Urahara made his statement like it happened all the time.

"They're here, during a police raid? I'm going to kill you when we make it out of this." Ichigo ran to find Rukia.

(Line Break)

Three captains stepped out of the senkimon and looked down on the mayhem down below them. The two older captains looked down and spoke to themselves while Soi Fon tried to track the spiritual pressure. It was moving into the crowd below.

"Were are you?" The spiritual power flared and Soi Fon could pinpoint it instantly

"Hey JD! I'm over here!"

(Line Break)

Hoss stood on top of the roof to the porch for the bar, drawing attention to himself so the rest of the group he ran shine with could escape from the police and let Ichigo and Rukia get situated in the back seat.

"Hoss come down. We are going to take you in on charges of manufacture and sale of illegal alcohol. The police do have orders to shot you if you resist." The man in the black cowboy hat called up to him.

"I will, but you have to catch me first." Hoss pulled his revolver up and shot the guns out of 4 officers hands before jumping into the air landing hard on his feet and diving for cover behind a pile of firewood. Bullets zinged past him as he reloaded his revolver.

'_Do I use Moon Goddess or not because its an unfair advantage to me. Man these unspoken rules about shootouts are such a pain.'_ Hoss thought to himself as a bullet ricocheted off the ground near his boots making him instinctively draw up closer into the firewood. _"I really have to learn what all I can do with these powers.'_

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia were in the back seat of Hoss' Camero when the gunfire started. Rukia had never heard gunfire this close before and both of them were covering their ears when the ACK ACK ACK of automatic rifles filled the air. Both of them worried about Hoss but the sounds of automatic rifles was met with the steady pop pop pop of his Colt Peacemaker. From what Ichigo and Rukia could see, Hoss was deadly accurate.

(Line Break)

The man in the black Stetson and coat stood amongst the gunfire.

'_Just like Hoss, never goes down easy.'_ A bullet ricocheted off the ground at his feet. He looked up to see Hoss standing tall in the wide open.

"_Big mistake Hoss." _the man thought as he pulled his own pistol from under his own coat.

"Shine your heavenly light down upon the world Moon Goddess." Hoss muttered and his shikai was released. But one thing he was not expecting was the woman standing behind him and grabbing his shoulder.

(Line Break)

Urahara could feel Hoss' spiritual pressure spike, but something felt off about it almost like it was coming from two nearby sources.

'_Could it be, nah, Kurosaki only got training from Zangetsu when he was training for bankai. But then again…'_

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia felt Hoss' spiritual pressure change. Both of them alarmed that he released his shikai on spiritually unaware. But the fact that his spiritual pressure was spilt was equally alarming.

(Line Break)

The woman grabbed Hoss' shoulder but time seemed to stop as he saw her. She wore a long flowing dress white with long platinum blond hair that was almost white.

"Where'd you come from?" Hoss asked startled, revolver following his eyesight to the woman then relaxing to his side.

"I'm surprised that you didn't recognize my voice. I am your zanpackto. Remember me?"

"Moon Goddess, wow." Hoss was needlessly shocked.

(Line Break)

Soi Fon activated her shikia and went to get the odd spiritual pressure but was stopped when the power flared.

(Line Break)

"Now, concentrate, focus your spiritual power into your revolver, aim and fire." Hoss did just that and a bullet backed by a streak of white energy shot into the ground besides JD who was now running for cover. "This attack is the Heavenly Meteor Strike, use it well." With that, Moon Goddess faded away, back into Hoss' mindscape. His head used the newest information and his hands automatically reloaded his revolver. Bullets started singing past his open and exposed body. The firestorm ended soon enough with a blade like ring shoved up to his throat. Following the finger it was attached to, and eventually the body, a small Chinese appearing woman wearing black robes and a white vest.

"And you are?"

"Soi Fon, captain of Squad Two and the thirteen court guard squads. You are under arrest by Head Captain Yamamoto's orders"

"And should I refuse?"

"We have orders to take you in at all costs, including your death." Hoss mulled over his options until a flash of orange hair caught his attention, along with a lavender flash.

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia felt a captain's spiritual pressure, Soi Fone's. Ichigo grabs his badge and exits his body quickly, leaving Rukia to cover for him with some shouts. The captain was Soi Fon ready to apprehend Hoss. Zangetsu was ready to go, hand wrapped around the hilt. A flash caught his attention.

(Line Break)

"Lady Yoruichi!"

"Yoruichi!"

"Who?" Hoss' head turned to see a purple haired woman, but the thing that caught his attention was she was jay bird naked.

One would of thought that his eyes would of popped out of his head if his eyes were open any further. A bullet zinged past the odd group and Hoss' arm instinctively forced his elbow into Soi Fon's gut. Bullets flew, several of Hoss' met their targets but a few of them from the police landed in Hoss' arm and shoulder.

"We gotta move." Hoss grunted as he hobbled behind shelter from bullets and returning fire when he could. Climbing into Black Widow, and hissing from the pain in his shoulder and arm. Ichigo was back in his arm and Yoruichi was no where to be seen, but appeared jaybird naked in the front passenger seat with Ichigo reentering his body. The Chevrolet 454 roared loudly with a Ford 405 bellowing in protest with the scream of a turbo charger as the Chevy and Ford took off back to Hoss' house.

(Line Break)

Captain Ukitake and Shunuii stood and watched as Soi Fon was still keeled over from Hoss' hit.

"Well," the white haired captain started, "looks like we need to try and talk Hoss into coming peacefully." the two older captains walked away leaving Soi Fon to recover from the elbow to the gut.

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia held on tight as Hoss slid Black Widow sideways into his driveway. The bleeding from his bullet wounds stopped when he shoved a couple paper towels. Ichigo and Rukia got themselves out of the back seat of the Camero, while Hoss parked it in his driveway wincing from the pain in his shoulder.

Struggling into the back bathroom, Hoss opened the cabinet over the sink and pulled out a bottle of rubbing alcohol and large tweezers along with a bottle of a brown liquid.

What they saw next amazed them, Hoss drank some of the brown liquid and then washed the tweezers in rubbing alcohol and then digging in one of the bullet wounds for the bullet.

(Line Break)

'_Damn this hurts. I should of waited for the bourbon to work its magic.' _Hoss hissed mentally before he pulled the tweezers out of his shoulder and picked up the bourbon again taking a long hard swallow. Picking the tweezers back up, he pulled the bloody bullet out and dropped it with a plink into the sink.

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia had to leave. Seeing Hoss digging around in his shoulder for a bullet made both of them sick. Strange considering that they both fought tough battles. Walking into the main room upstairs they saw Chad, Orihime, Uryu, and Urahara sitting on couches, drinking a clear liquid in jars. Orihime's, Chad's, and Uryu's weren't touched, but Urahara was completely hammered.

"You know WHAT I liKE about… you Orihim-hic-e, you're a cute girl, and not only THAT, your sweet too-hic."

Everybody looked at Urahara with worried expressions until Hoss came in.

"WHO LET THEM INTO MY SHINE! He yelled, but no one answered.

His shoulder was wrapped with gauze, but blood already soaked through and started soaking into the white t-shirt he was wearing. Walking up, he relieved everyone of them of the potent liquid in the jars they were holding, with drunken whining from Urahara.

Hoss set the alcohol on the counter before reaching up and pulling a square bottle onto the counter.

"You better not lie to me Jim Beam." Hoss muttered as he got a glass down and poured some of the bottle's contents into it, then joining the group. Urahara was now passed out on the floor.


	6. Working for the weekend

**Hello hello hello, another update. Same deal, I own nothing, Tite Kubo owns Bleach. **

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><p>Urahara started snoring from all the high quality pure alcohol running through his system.<p>

"Hoss, you know Orihime can heal that wound in your shoulder and arm." Ichigo looked at Hoss' blood soaked wrappings. Shortly after Urahara passed out he saw the shirt on his back getting blood stained on it and took it off.

"Can she now? Well, if she wants to, she's more than welcome to." Hoss looked a the well-built but still petite woman across from the room from him. Orihime looked like she was in a daze but snapped herself out of it. "Would you mind?" Hoss asked.

"Sure." Orihime put her hands to her hair pins and released her healing fairies. The orange glow spread over Hoss' arm and shoulder. The pain started to fade and then the wound started to close up. When she stopped, there was no scar and no soreness.

"Nice. A lot easier than my method by a longshot. I think I still have bullets near my back from an early gunfight."

_(Flashback) _

_Hoss ran behind a car. This was his first ever shine run and being the bad shot he was with a revolver, he missed more times than he even got close_

"_Damn it." He hissed. Reloading his Peacemaker left him open to bullets and almost on cue, three burning punctures entered his back with him yelling in pain. _

_(End flashback) _

Hoss winced at the memory. Pain throbbing near his spine reminded him of his first battle scars. Although his doctor tried several times to remove the bullets, the wounds always wound up inflamed and infected resulting in several rounds of antibiotics before trying again. He quit trying to get them out after the tenth time and said to heck with it.

Orihime must of caught him wincing.

"Hoss, is something else wrong?" she asked sweetly.

"I'm fine. I've gotten used to it." It was a lie, to an extent. Hoss downed the last of the bourbon he poured himself before raising up. "I'm going out to the barn to work on Ichigo's car." Almost instantly he got volunteers from everyone except Urahara who was still snoring from the moonshine and would be snoring for several hours more.

(Line Break)

Hoss opened a door and flicked on several light switches. Florescent lights flashed, died out then went to full brightness. Bathing the room in a full light with the grayish black Nova sitting full center, Black Widow sitting along side with a crate next to her. The nameless Nova sat completely in the air on jack stands with the front end hanging down along with the rear axle. Hoss moved over to look at it and smiled.

"Aright. Get the axle out and sitting on those stands next to the bench, I'll tear into them and see what's inside. Ichigo, your getting Black Widow's 454. I have a new 502 crate motor to drop in." Moving over, Hoss looked at the transmission sitting on the floor next to the Nova. "Looks like you lucked out. Somewhere along the line someone installed a high torque auto trans. Quick bolt up and drop in." Now everyone got ready for the orders. "Both bumpers need to come off, hood needs to be straightened, there's slight rust in the trunk area and the interior needs to come out and redone. Dive in on what you feel comfortable doing." With that Hoss started pulling the 454 out of Black Widow and replacing it with a 502.

Ichigo went to work on pulling out the rear end with help from Chad, the two of them working on the ancient U bolts with a grinder. Orihime used her healing abilities to eliminate the rust in the truck with no trouble. Uryu tackled the upholstery without a struggle and had the beat up vinyl seats recovered in black and white fabric.

(Line Break)

With Black Widow's former power plant sitting on an engine stand and awaiting mating to its new transmission. The cherry picker hoisted the 502 into the air and Hoss guided it down into the engine bay, bolts holding the engine to the mounts, adjusting the new clutch plates took a matter of minutes then the final connections to things like the radiator, heating system, exhaust, and electrical were finished. Cranking the new big block over, a loud, deep rumble filled the shop. All the gauges read good so Hoss tapped the throttle, even with the racing suspension up front, the body rocked as the 502 bellowed. Shutting the power plant off, silence filled the workshop.

"Bit loud isn't it?" Orihime pulled her fingers out of her ears.

"Mufflers kill horsepower. Doing what we are doing, we need all the power we can get." Hoss looked under the hood and turned back to the Nova.

(Line Break)

"To be honest Soi Fon, how can we be sure this boy can see us without gigias?"

"The boy can see, fight and exorcise hollows, he will be able to see us." The stealth force commander got ready to blast a hole in the wall with a stealth force specialty Kido.

(Line Break)

Hoss just started pulling the axleshafts of Ichigo's car out when a strong pressure brushed against his senses. It was collected and focused, almost like there was going to be a

**BAM **

Everyone in the room started hacking and coughing as a strange pressure blasted through one of the steel walls of the shed. A small woman, accompanied by a man with white hair and another man wearing what looked like a flower bathrobe stepped through the opening.

"Captain Soi Fon! Captain Ukitake!" Rukia yelled over to them.

"Rukia, how's my best unseated officer?" Kyouraku grabbed Ukitake by the shoulders as the man started coughing violently. Forgetting what just happened, everyone ran up to the coughing captain.

"Come on, lets get him somewhere where we can get him out of the dust." Hoss grunted as he put the captain's arm on his shoulder with Kyouraku on the other side of Ukitake.

(Line Break)

JD sat behind his desk, slightly burnt, and missing his jacket, but no worse for wear.

"So, aren't you worried that the Feds will step in?"

"Not a chance, Hoss is a well known shiner and I give them information about his activities, and ours is invisible. No one knows." JD smiled from under his hat.

"What about all those trailers sitting in county municipal storage?"

"What do you thing those monsters are for? Hoss can see spirits and those monsters eat people who can see spirits." A black cat jumped out of his lap and walked over to the window and looked out.

(Line Break)

"We were sent by Head Captain Yamamoto to take you into custody." Kyouraku explained. Ukitake was laying on the couch with a wet towel on his chest

"We have orders to kill you if you resist to kill you." Soi Fon added on a side note.

"That's just peachy." Hoss grumbled. _'Right as I have to harvest the back 200. I was going to start tomorrow and throw Ichigo in the Druramax with duel grain wagons, Have to teach Rukia how do drive Grandpa's old cab-over.'_

"Did you hear us?" Soi Fon growled.

"Wha.. Oh, sorry. Just had some thoughts about farm work. So when are we leaving?" Hoss tried to cover up his SNAFU.

"Hoss, their opening a senkimon now." Rukia informed him, fixing her captain up with a kido. As if on cue, a tip of a sword was poked into his back and Hoss' arms shot up.

(Line Break)

Sword tip still poking his back, Hoss was ushered in to a room of people, all wearing the same robes as Ichigo and Rukia when they were Shinigimai, but all, except for the one guy had white robes over them.

"Hoss Lohmar, you are here to decide your fate. How do you plead?" An old man stood at the head of the men. For some strange reason, Hoss had trouble breathing.

"What are the charges?"

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia walked away from the First division barracks. All the captains were in for a hearing on Hoss' powers in place of Central 46. Captain Ukitake was in the 4th division healing ward for his cough, but something else weighted on the two's minds. Hoss was in a room of captains, his spiritual pressure was no where near strong enough to stop him from getting suffocated much less being able to attempt to clear himself.

(Line Break)

The strain was getting to Hoss. Trouble breathing made talking much more difficult to try and proclaim his innocence. Several times he had to stop and struggle to regain breath.

"And you claim that you had no previous knowledge of the Spiritual world is that correct?" One of the men, everybody else called him Captain Kurosuchi, but he earned the nickname from Hoss as clown face, until he found out what his name was.

"That is correct. I own and run a farm and a small trucking firm during the winter and summer. I had no previous knowledge of the Spiritual world, but could see it."

"You still failed to answer the first question, how did you access your zanpackto while you were still living?" Soi Fon all but snapped at Hoss.

"Once again, I fail to see where that has anything to do with this." Hoss replied with practiced skill.

"ANSWER THE QUESTION DAMNIT!" Soi Fon bellowed, a sudden blast of spiritual pressure made Hoss list forward as he had more trouble breathing.

"It is appearing that this questioning session is of no use revealing information. May I conduct experiments on him to find out how?" Kurosuchi asked the old man, they all referred to him as Head Captain, except for Kyouraku who called him Old man Yama.

"It would appear that Hoss is having trouble in this meeting. Seeing as how he can pose no threat to the Soul Society, he is enstated as an unofficial member of the 13 court guard squads. Captain Kyouraku, you shall accompany Hoss tomorrow back to the World of the Living and train him, tonight he will stay at your barracks. Meeting dismissed." With a bang of his cane, all of the captains filed out.

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia were standing outside the first division barracks when the meeting let out. They saw Hoss fall flat on his face as soon as he rounded a corner and inhaled like the air was a valuable commodity.

"How'd it go?"

"They gave me my draft notice Ichigo. They drafted me." Hoss struggled to his feet. "Now, where can a guy go to get something to eat around here?"

(Line Break)

Ichigo, Rukia and Hoss sat on the green of the 4th division barracks, Luckily they had just started having lunch where shinigiami passing through could buy some. Hoss Ichigo and Rukia all got lunches packed in boxes. Some rice, soy sauce, wassabi, a main dish, and some sort of a drink in a bamboo cup. Hoss tried to eat with chop sticks but wound up wearing more than he ate. Brushing his shirt off, he took the box up to the drop off point for it to be reused. Coming back, Hoss sat back down.

"So, what's the 411 on this captain I'll be training under?"

"Captain Kyouraku? He's one of the first captains to pass through the Shinigiami academy, along with Captain Unohana and Captain Ukitake. Urahara actually went through the academy with them." Rukia informed.

"Speaking of Hat and Clogs," Ichigo chimed in, "Wonder if he's recovered yet?"

(Line Break)

Urahara woke up, at midnight with a throbbing head, mouth dry like he had cotton in it, and feeling like he was about to throw his guts up. The poor man managed to make it to the garbage can before throwing his guts up. Looking up, he realized he couldn't see.

(Line Break)

"I'm sure he's fine Ichigo, if he isn't still passed out. " Hoss just sat down before a young woman with glasses, looking a few years younger than himself walked up holding a large book.

"Hoss Lohmar?"

"That's my name, don't wear it out." He casually replied before laying down on his back to enjoy the fading sunlight. He never saw the book heading down to his face. He bounced up, nose bleeding and said blood running down his face.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

"You address your superior too casually. You are to speak to your superiors in formal Japanese."

'_Wait a minute, I don't speak Japanese, how the blue moon can I speak Japanese if I don't even know it?'_

"Come on, Captain is waiting for us." Hoss shrugged his shoulders at Ichigo and Rukia before following the young woman away.


	7. With his pants in his hand

**Hey, I back. Same deal as last time, I own nothing. **

**I did write this after listening to a song by Jerry Reed of the same name. But I still own nothing.**

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><p>Hoss woke up with a pounding head and his tongue was as dry as cotton. A glass of water sat on the table of the other side of the bed he was sleeping in, so he reached over the lump in the middle of the bed, but his arm rubbed against a distinctly feminine body part.<p>

Eyes turning down into the clear part of his vision and out of the fuzz of his peripheral, a rather "gifted" strawberry blonde woman. A sudden wave of pounding in his head brought Hoss to holding his head. As his arm instinctively shot up to hold his head, he realized that his other arm was pinned under the woman.

"What the hell did I do last night?" Hoss muttered before wincing and holding his head again. The last night came back loud and clear.

_(Flashback) _

_The girl with the book, Lieutenant Nanao, led Hoss past several buildings with characters on the eaves of the roofs. When they arrived at one, they passed through the gates, with the guards bowing in respect for Nanao, who only straightened her glasses. The two of them were in a bar full of loud shinigaimi, the smell of a salty alcohol on their breaths. Sitting at a table in the far side of the room was Captain Kyouraku sitting at the table with Ukitake, and several others. One had fire engine red hair, another was bald, one had a tattoo of the number 69 on his face, and the last was a well endowed woman. _

_(End Flashback) _

"Oh yeah, a night drinking with officers of the Gotei 13." Hoss groaned again, now set on freeing his arm from under the woman. On little detail came evidently clear to him now, he was jay-bird naked.

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap oh crap…" An icy chill filled the air.

"RANGIKU!" A voice bellowed, footsteps poundind down the hall, the pounding resonating in Hoss' skull and the chill in the air getting stronger. Hoss was now swearing up a storm, yanking his arm out from under the woman, getting his underwear on and trying to hop into his jeans and boots. A boy with snow white hair burst through the door, white vest on and a sword strapped onto his back. A captain, and a ticked off one at that. He stopped for a second before growling and reaching for his sword.

"Reign over the frosted heavens…"

"Oh shit." Hoss muttered as he slipped on his boots before grabbing his remaining clothes and running for his life. A dragon formed of ice formed right behind him. Hoss grabbed his gun belt before diving out the window and running down the alley with his pants in his hand.

(Line Break)

Ichigo had just finished up visiting with Captain Ukitake and running for his life from Kenpachi. As he walked past the 10th division, he felt Hitsuguya's spiritual pressure flair. Passing it off as Rangiku not doing his paperwork he kept walking until he was overtaken by a man running for his life. A man wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and several oddly unique scars from what looked like bullets in his back.

"Hoss?"

(Line Break)

Hoss panted behind the corner of what he assumed to be a warehouse. His shirt covered the slight cold on his back. Putting his hat back on, he sighed.

"_Great, now I probably have a captain out for my head and I can't defend myself outside of shooting him." _

"_**Serves you right, besides," **_Moon Goddess' voice echoed inside his head. _**"have you checked your belt? Your missing your wallet, cell phone and me."**_

"_Couldn't of chimed in earlier could you?"_ Hoss growled at his Zanpackto spirit. Looking to see that the coast was clear, he walked out of the alley, feeling open to any attacks from a ticked off captain.

(Line Break)

Most sane people stay away from Captain Hitsugya when he's in a foul mood, mainly for the risk of being frozen alive. Hoss knew he was sneaking into the dragon's den, literally when he snuck past the offices and into the hallway going to the room he crashed in. The night slowly starting to come back to him. Looking on the night table, he saw his wallet, Iphone and revolver.

"Score!" he whispered hoarsely. Grabbing them off the table, he put his revolver in its holster, Iphone and wallet in his pocket and dove out the window, focusing on running. After he dove out the window and started to run, he felt himself get the force of a full throttle acceleration in a high performance car hit him. When he looked around, he was several feet outside of the alley. He stopped and looked around before strolling leisurely back to Squad 8 barracks. Head still pounding.

(Line Break)

As he staggered into the 8th division's barracks, he saw Captain Kyouraku working on a pile of papers with Nano right beside him, giant book right next to her.

"Ah Hoss," Shunsui grinned like the cat who ate the canary, "So, how was your fling with Rangiku?"

"To be honest, I don't remember a dang thing." Hoss grumbled while rubbing the back of his head in an attempt to stem the hangover. "What exactly happened? I almost got froze."

"Ho ho ho," the captain chuckled, "don't you remember?"

_Flashback_

_Hoss had just followed Nanao into the bar. Ikakku and Renji were placing bets on how long the guy would last. Hoss sat down and shot the breeze with them. Zanpacktos, fights and in Hoss' case, important things in life were brought up. _

"_I'm telling' ya, the only things that matter in life are fast cars, fast women and fast food." By now Hoss was not feeling much pain and his words were starting to slur. Renji and Ikakku were amazed that a normal human could hold so much spiritual alcohol. _

"_Renji, you owe me 300 Kan." Ikakku told the lieutenant, who only groaned. By this point, the only live person of the group got up, swayed and went with the lieutenant of Squad 10._

_End Flashback_

Hoss groaned, his hangover was pounding away like a jackhammer in his skull, a small cup was handed to him, steam gently coming off the top in whisps. Tea.

"Sorry, tea doesn't work for me. Strong coffee does though."

"Captain Unohana made that tea just for my hangovers so I could function. It works great." Hoss put the cup to his lips and drank the hot liquid at Shunsui's recommendation. Whatever the tea was made out of worked great. Instantly Hoss' head stopped pounding. He looked at the cup expecting some syrup in the bottom, only the remains of the tea was left. "Now that your back to normal, we have to get to the senkimon." Nanao stood behind Shunsui with her book. Hoss began to wonder why it was that the woman had that book. He heard the others last night talk about zanpackto spirits. Did that book have something to do with her's?

(Line Break)

Hoss stepped out of the gate, and saw that he was back home and it appeared to be around noon. Everything was how he remembered leaving it, and to be honest he was impressed that he didn't loose much time.

"Hoss!" A high pitched squeal rang out from the front door as Orihime ran out and jumped on the unexpecting country boy, almost knocking him on his back. "We started worrying they killed you or brainwashed you into a killing ninja or put your brain in a robot…." Hoss began to worry about the well being of the young woman.

"This is going to be a challenge."

(Line Break)

After setting up a cot in the upstairs living room for the visiting captain to sleep in, Hoss looked over to see a blonde haired shopkeeper looking very tired and very thirsty. He chuckled at the man's expense before grabbing a bucket and filling it up with water from one of the bathrooms and throwing it on the striped coat clad man. He sputtered and coughed before Hoss handed him a bottle of red Gatorade and some Tylenol.

"This'll help, and down as much water as your body can hold." Hoss informed him before going outside.

(Line Break)

Hoss shoved open the sliding doors to another barn on the main farm property. Inside was several grain wagons, a 53 foot reefer semi trailer, a flat bed trailer and a lowboy. In the far back, a very dusty tarp covered something the size of another semi truck but without the long hood. Grabbing a corner of the tarp, he ripped it off to expose a Freightliner cab-over truck. Tandem axle, duel stacks, chrome reflecting the remaining sunlight in the building. Hoss looked on the sleeper cab of the truck. On the back was a brass plaque.

'In loving memory, Grandpa. He delivered his last load on December 10th 1999 before making the run to the truckstop in the sky.' Hoss sighed as he looked at the plaque, before climbing into the cab and cranking over the sleeping Detroit Diesel.

The cab of the truck rolled into the sunlight with a grain trailer on its back. The hiss of air brakes brought the whole set up to a stop.

"Rukia, your learning how to drive a big rig today."

Ichigo, Rukia, Uryu, and Chad all began to worry.


	8. Semi Happy

**I'm back. **

**Same deal as last time, Tite Kubo owns Bleach I own nothing**

* * *

><p>Rukia looked at the rig, worry filled her violet eyes. She didn't even know how to ride a bike much less a car or a semi truck.<p>

"Come on, I have to teach you how to drive this rig before I head out to the field and start harvesting." Hoss yelled as he walked in front of the truck and climbed into the passenger seat. "Come on, I need the help." Rukia was pushed by Uryu to the cab of the truck. Rukia knew she was on the shorter side, but this truck made her feel tiny. Hoss' hands wrapped around her wrists and pulled her up with gentle strength.

"I don't even know how to drive a car."

"Great, now I don't have to get you off car driving skills." Hoss grinned. "Ok, turn the key on, but don't start the engine." Rukia did that and heard a beeping. "Good, now…" Hoss waited until beeping stopped. "Pull that lever so that it lines up with the N, then push the short fat pedal and turn the key until the engine starts." Rukia did just that and turned the key. A deep rumble followed by a roar then another rumble. Hoss just nodded.

(Line Break)

"Hey Uryu, have you seen Rukia?" Ichigo asked the Quincy archer before the rumble of a diesel engine starting drowned him out. His head turned to the source of the noise before his eyes realized who was behind the wheel and who was riding shotgun.

"Isn't this great Ichigo? Rukia's learning to drive a semi. Maybe she'll drive cross country." Orihime was on one of her "creative" spurts.

"I doubt that Orihime. First of all there's no plates on that. Second of all… LOOK OUT!" Everyone ran away from the cabover truck heading to them.

(Line Break)

"Steer Rukia, STEER! STEER FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" Hoss bellowed before he closed his eyes. The cabover plowed right through the corner of one of the outbuildings. Making said building collapse on itself.

(Line Break)

Hoss had out his Mack truck and a tractor to pull out the cabover. 4x4s propped up the cover of the building while Hoss backed the cabover out of the wreckage. The windshield was cracked from corner to corner on both sides, and the duel stacks were bent.

"Shows how strong these trucks were built." Hoss chuckled. "Rukia, if your going to run through a building, let me show you how its done."

(Line Break)

Hoss grinned, He put a 53 foot reefer onto the back of his Mack and was rolling down the driveway for the farm. He ripped down on the air horn and hit the throttle. The Mack's diesel engine roared and the whole truck body rolled as Hoss turned around the corner and plowed hard into the remaining upright of the building.

(Line break)

A man stood on a ladder replacing the broke windshield. Orihime thought she could fix it but wound up damaging it more to the point where the glass fell out of the rubber gasket holding it in. Hoss had a combine from the farm loaded up onto the back of his truck with a lowboy under it.

"Rukia, there's going to be a lot of weight behind ya when I have you loaded up. So be careful and hit the brakes earlier. Ichigo, your towing double gravity wagons so you'll have to cut out a bit wider but not as wide as Rukia. You two got it?" Both nodded. "I want you to have someone else with you to spot your trailer." The man replacing the glass just finished up.

"Let's jam some gears." Hoss yelled over to them as he climbed into the cab. Shunsui ran up and climbed in the truck as it took off.

(Line Break)

"What the hell were you thinking?" Hoss yelled at his mentor. "You could of got yourself killed!"

"Relax, I may be lazy, but there are tricks up my sleeve." As if to emphasize his point, Shunsui tugged on his arm. "Gigai can be so uncomfortable."

(Line Break)

Orihime and Rukia sat inside the cabover truck. The two of them followed out behind Hoss' truck and Ichigo and Chad in the one ton Chevrolet with two gravity grain wagons.

(Line Break)

Hoss' Mack sat just in the field. The Case IH combine was off of the trailer and already in the field harvesting the wheat. By the time the rest of the convoy pulled up, Shunsui was standing by and ready to relay a message.

"Hoss told me to tell you to make sure your you wait until he's full out in the field. He said to turn something called a CB onto channel one and he'd radio in when he's ready.

(Line Break)

Hoss smiled, the Case IH combine worked it's way through the fields. The sun was already starting to get low in the sky, so the lights were going to get worked hard tonight.

(Line Break)

Uryu looked at Ichigo's car that was now partially complete. The interior was in, engine and transmission in, front end was laying all over the floor and the rear end was sitting on cinderblocks by Hoss' workbench. Uryu didn't know that much about cars, but he could find out just enough to be dangerous. Urahara walked in behind him, staggering slightly.

"You know, you should be drinking plenty of fluids." Uryu informed the shopkeeper.

"Aw, Uryu, I didn't think you cared." He replied, being a ham.

"I don't want to explain to the EMTs why your dead and then be explaining to Ichigo why your gigai was taken to the hospital." Urahara faked landing flat on his back.

(Line Break)

JD walked along a loading dock. Shouts of Spanish filled the air along with the strong pungent odor of plants.

"JD." the lanky man came running up nearly missing a forklift coming out of a trailer. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"The DOT is going to start inspecting the trailers after we overloaded two of them. They opened them up and found the stolen guns."

"Details details, we can get around that. We'll just send them onto the farmers hauling grain.

(Line Break)

Hoss leaned against a combine tire. Orihime and Rukia had just come back and missed a Department of Transportation inspection.

"So, you said you saw men setting up scales and stopping semis?" The two girls with the Cabover nodded. "Well then, we got a problem." Hoss scratched the back of his head. "I'm the only one with a CDL, and your driving under my insurance without anything saying that you can. What we can do is form a convoy, but I have to run the combine."

As if on clue, Three combines and two semis rolled over the hill. Air horns blasting and the odd convoy rolled over the hill.

(Line Break)

Hoss' own Mack was being loaded by two John Deere combines. Several of Hoss' friends that he ran shine with. They were also farmers and when they heard about the stretch that he was under. With the combines finishing up, Hoss' rig was laden with more grain than he was legally licensed to haul.

"I really don't care, as long as I can get this grain in." Hoss said over his CB. "Just make sure that you keep Ichigo and Rukia under." With that, Hoss started jamming gears.

When he was on the road, he was in his own world, the roaring of the diesel engine, and the singing of tires and gears. Shame that he wound up spending more time up north in Canada running the ice roads than anything. He sighed. Ever since JD came into office, he'd been running interstate commerce down the toilet.

Hoss had just grabbed another gear on his transmission when he saw flashing blue and red lights.

"Crap." he muttered under his breath. Just as he started to slow down, the screaming of a supercharged 350 ci V-8 was heard. A flat black Mustang screamed right past him, The Black Night must have had his back door.

The police officer ditched the DOT semi inspection and went after the high performance Mustang without as much as a second though. Hoss checked his mirrors and went right on his way.

(Line Break)

Uryu and Urahara had just finished the body work on Ichigo's car. The glass and interior was all masked off so all that had to be done was spraying paint.

"What exactly were you doing in the interior anyway Urahara?"

"Just a slight modification."

(Line Break)

Rukia and Orihime were on their way back from the elevator. Blasting air horns, the two girl's rig passed Hoss' heavily laden one. The screaming of the turbo hung in the cab for a second before the CB crackled into life.

"_Break for that Rukia, break for that Rukia, you got a copy, come on back now." _Hoss' voice came over the speaker. Orihime pulled the mike down and unsure of what to do, just hit the button on the side.

"Yes?"

"_Orihime, tell Rukia that there are police taking DOT inspections up ahead. I lucked out and had Black Night save my butt, Be careful."_

"Will do Hoss."

(Line Break)

It was the last load. Ichigo had sense left to get a head start on everyone, so the remaining grain was split between Hoss and Rukia. That was until Rukia was at max rated load.

"I really don't care. Load my rig all the way up. We know that it can handle the weight, the only difference is that the trailer needs an extra axle." The guy running the combine shrugged and emptied the grain tank into Hoss' trailer. He went to take off and the rear wheels just spun. They stopped and Hoss tried to back up and rock his rig onto moving, no luck. When he finally stopped spinning his wheels, the heavy artillery came out. 4x4 low, air lockers on both rear axles and the front, and a low gear. The tires hooked up for a second before slipping and then grabbing and pulling him through the field and onto the road.

(Line Break)

Rukia was starting to enjoy driving. The whole thing was a different experience that she really enjoyed. Blue and red lights reflected off of her mirrors, she didn't know much about the US, but she knew that these lights meant that she had to pull over. A police car pulled up and parked in front of her and a officer got out and stepped up on the running board.

"License, insurance, registration and manifest please."

(Line Break)

"_Break for that Hossman, Break for that Hossman, this is a 10-33, you got a copy?" _Hoss grabbed his CB mike.

"This is the Hossman, what's the 10-33 breaker."

"_Bears just pulled over your other rig." _

"Thank you thank you breaker." Hoss growled as he stuck his rig in a higher gear. The growling of the diesel engine became more pronounces as black smoke started from the stack.

(Line Break)

Rukia and Orihime were explaining to the police officer their situation before they were arrested. That was until Hoss' air horn filled the air with it's note. The Mack's bumper slammed into the back of the patrol car, Hoss was screaming at them to get moving.

(Line Break)

Hoss held his head, He had just outran the cops in a Mack overloaded with grain and rescued Rukia and Orihime. He sighed, Ichigo was already back at the farm. The trucks were all sitting in the driveway, drivers near the trucks.

"I really didn't want to do what I had to do Rukia." He explained to the two lady truckers. "But it looks like you lot are in the same boat as me, state blacklists."


	9. Let the training begin

**Same deal, I don't own Bleach. **

The one ton chevy truck idled into an open field. The rumble of the Duramax died away. On the back was the gooseneck with two cars, one was Ichigo's Nova, freshly painted and reassembled, but rubber foam was duck taped onto the bumpers. Pulling up behind them was a black Trans Am. The driver revved the engine before shutting down. Hoss, Shunsui, and Ichigo got out of the truck, while one of Hoss' friends got out of the Trans Am.

"Thanks Kyle. Go easy on Ichigo will you. I've got my own training to do." Hoss said as he dropped the ramps. Ichigo cranked up his car, he named it Zangetsu. The name was written in Kanji on both fenders and in English on the door. The 454 revved as Ichigo backed it down. The flat black paint and silver paint for the name was a sharp combination. Kyle knew what he had to teach Ichigo and the two of them went out into a harvested bean field and started their training.

"Now, shall we get started?" Shunsui asked, already out of his gigai.

"Now or never." Hoss pulled his Peacemaker out of its holster.

(Line Break)

Ichigo slid the back end of his Nova around a cone and it kept going. The back end stepped further and further out until it went completely around. Coughing, he eased the zanpackto named car out of the dust cloud.

"You got out of the throttle to much too early Ichigo, ride it out with the throttle. Come on, its not that hard." Kyle called over to him. "Give it another shot." Ichigo pulled up and got ready to try and turn around the corner, dust flying and the back end stepped out but snapped back in line before starting to swing around

(Line Break)

Hoss panted from the dodging of two swords coming at him. His revolver did him no good in such close combat where it was basically smack him upside the head, try and block a sword, run, shoot, run and repeat.

"Your combat style is unique, you utilize any distance between you and your opponent to your advantage." Shunsui appeared with a flash step and slashed down on Hoss, the blade stopped in his shoulder, blood oozing out onto his white, ankle length jacket, a growl came from clenched teeth. The revolver in his hand rattled gently before being pointed at Shunsui's side. The only advanced warning was a metallic click.

The blast that came blew Shunsui back several feet, leaving one of his blades lodged in Hoss' shoulder. The sickening sound of steel versus flesh filled the air as Hoss pulled the sword from his shoulder.

"Never underestimate me, I may not have a sword, but I adapt and overcome." Hoss disappeared in a flash and reappeared in the sky. Revolver pointed and ready to fire. "Meteor strike!" the spiritual backed bullet rocketed at Shunsui unaffected. It hit him hard in his shoulder and threw him back onto the ground.

"Not bad." he panted, "You learnt shunpo, guess I'd better teach you some other skills."

(Line Break)

Rukia looked at the papers Hoss gave her before Shunsui, Ichigo and Hoss left for some training.

"ARG! How am I supposed to remember this?"

"What's wrong Rukia?" Orihime came in after she heard Rukia yell.

"Stupid government. Why don't they make everything simple. A straight truck can only carry 10 thousand pounds while a semi is limited to 22. Only so much weight can be put on steer, drive and trailer. What does all that mean?"

(Line Break)

"Hado Number 33." A red ball of energy formed in the palm of Hoss' hand and burnt a pile of crates to ashes.

"Very nice." Shunsui yawned. "I'm going to take a nap." With that, the gigia wearing captain walked into a wooded area to sleep.

(Line Break)

JD stood and looked over the window. Black cat curled up in his arms.

"What do we do now? Without a doubt Hoss is trying to train and come after us soon." The scrawny aid looked around concern.

"Simple, we let him come after us. I still have my ace in the hole." JD tapped a AR-15 that was on his back on the barrel upper.

The cat in his arms jumped out and walked outside.

(Line Break)

Hoss watched as Ichigo slid the rear end of his car around the corner, revved the engine, and swung the rear around, catching it on blacktop for a quick shot and slidding across dirt and gravel before finishing the course on dirt. The dust cloud cleared and Hoss clicked the stopwatch in his hand.

"Thirty and 12 points. Very nice, very, nice Ichigo." Hoss looked at the stopwatch. "Now, drive him home Ichigo." Ichigo smiled, having finally gotten the hang of the Nova's driving. Kyle had since left having to take care of work at home. A woman appeared in front of the front of them, stark naked.

"Damnit Yorichi, put some clothes on!" Ichigo yelled before covering his eyes. Hoss couldn't say anything because his jaw was on the dirt.

"Ichigo, listen, you guys are in deep trouble, that guy, JD is going to…." A blood curling howl pierced the air.

"Hollow." The two men muttered.

(Line Break)

Shunsui was awoken by the spiritual pressure of a hollow and the howling of it.

"That hollow brought company." he muttered under his hat.

(Line Break)

Hoss looked up. Hollows came from all over the place. His wounds finally healed enough to stop from throbbing, His white jacket was now covered in red streaks and his white Stetson was pretty dingy looking from the dives into the dirt he took. Ichigo was already out of his body, leaving it in Zangetsu, and had the zanpackto Zangetsu in his hand slicing hollow after hollow. Hoss moved to pull his revolver out of the holster on his hip, a tan hand stopped him from pulling it completely out.

"Don't you don't have the spiritual energy."

"Are you nuts? Those things can and will steamroll Ichigo. He needs backup." Ichigo screamed out as he released a Getsuga, slicing about half of the hollows in one shot. "I stand corrected."

(Line Break)

Rukia was standing on top of a barn as she sliced a hollow with her zanpackto. Chad and Uryu were already exorcising hollows as fast as they could, but they were soon overwhelmed.

"Scream, Benihime." A crimson arc shot out behind them with a scream, cutting all the hollows in its path in half.

(Line Break)

Things were going south in a hurry. Not only was Ichigo now fighting higher class hollows, but Shunsui was no where to be seen.

"Where is that damned lazy captain?" Hoss muttered. If things got even worst, he'd join the fight against everyone's wishes. A hollow got past everyone else and Hoss pulled his revolver and cocked the hammer. He pulled the trigger and only a metallic click. Out of bullets. Changing tactics in a hurry, he slammed the grip into the hollow's mask and brought the gun down to reload.

"Damn, damn and double damn." He muttered.

(Line Break)

JD smiled. He was in his white sedan watching the hollows attack Hoss' farm. A large white blast shook the area.

"There we go, his farm's done." JD had just put the car in drive before a bright blue arrow shot by the front.

(Line Break)

Uryu stood in the dust, his clothes were torn and he had several cuts from the explosion of Chad's El Muerete. He somehow figured out that the white sedan was tied to the hollow attack. He readied his bow and launched a warning arrow at it.

(Line Break)

Hoss spun the Chevy's steering wheel. The truck tires squealed in protest as the Detroit built Duramax pushed the truck and trailer around the corner. Hoss saw and locked onto the white sedan, A Toyota model, and just before the truck was about to completely plow into it, slammed on the brakes and crushed in the back end, forcing the car forward. He jumped out of the truck as Ichigo locked up his brakes in Zangetsu and sliding in front of the Toyota sedan.

"Out of the car JD." Hoss yelled, revolver pointed at the black hat inside. "OUT OF THE CAR!"

A distinct metallic click came from the inside of the car. JD got out of the car alright, but a fully automatic AR-15, coupled with an M-203 grenade launcher created an opening. Hoss' own .45 Colt revolver did nothing. Everyone dove for cover. Hoss occasionally peeked out from behind the tree that was splintering. A loud explosion shook the area and the .223 round fire stopped. Hoss dove for the ground from behind the tree and saw only the burned out remains of a Toyota sedan and the scorched paint on the front end of a Chevy one ton.

(Line Break)

Hoss ran through the house, grabbing boxes of ammunition out of drawers, pulling an old west ammunition belt out of the closet on the main floor, even throwing a long knife into the mix clipping it's sheath onto his belt. No one was injured in the brief fire-fight, thankfully, but Hoss was still fired up.

"Hoss, calm down." Orihime tried to get the armed farmer to calm down.

"Calm down? How the hell can I calm down? JD almost killed you guys. I'm not going to take that sitting down."

"Actually, glad you mentioned that.." Urahara grinned from under his hat and pulled out a map.


	10. Fly by Night

**Same deal, I own nothing. Tite Kubo owns Bleach**

Urahara held out the blueprint on the table.

"And where did you get these blueprints?" The blonde ex-captain looked at the papers.

"I used to work construction on the side. These were for some interior remodel jobs I did for JD transport." Hoss looked at the blueprints. "I was supposed to hand them over to him or destroy them but they got lost in paperwork." Urahara nodded and looked at the papers.

"It seems like we can just go in through a window, Ichigo can blast a hole through the wall with his zanpackto, Zangetsu. Then you, me, and Chad can enter and apprehend him."

"Why?" Ichigo stood next to Urahara, and if it wasn't for the orange hair, one would easily think that he was another captain.

"I've got my own reasons." Hoss added, "JD's been harboring suspicions of mine that he's transporting illegal firearms, drugs and the occasional human smuggling through my property. Unless I can get the trailer with his seal on it, my findings aren't going to hold a spark." Hoss' face was lit up with resolve.

(Line Break)

Anyone looking down the gravel road going by JD transport could see semis rolling in and out at all hours. Didn't matter if there was rain, snow, heat or flooding. The trucks rolled in and out like clockwork. This night was no exception. Big difference was that a white cab-over with a private owner-operator name on the door was rolling into the gate this time with a short black haired woman driving and a tall man riding along side.

(Line Break)

Black Widow was parked behind a tree near the gate for JD transport. Hoss, Yoruichi, and Orihime were hiding in the shadows. Big difference was though, Hoss' normal black jacket was gone. A military surplus camo jacket replaced it, but he still wore his trademark white hat.

"Wait for it, wait for it…." Hoss muttered. Ichigo and Rukia rolled up to the gate, tapping the air brakes hard enough to lock up the unladed drive axles. "There's our queue." Hoss quietly walked out, revolver drawn and back hunched over. The other two followed him.

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia were in the cab over. The guard looked at some fake paperwork that Rukia was given by Urahara after he looked at some old paperwork that Hoss had.

"Everything is in order Ms. Kuicki. Just back up to that trailer and the dock rats will load you." Rukia was confused about this, but followed the directions none the less.

(Line Break)

Hoss jumped over the fence with Orihime on his shoulder. The healer was light, even for him, but trying to hold onto something was, 'difficult' to say the least.

"Sorry about the ride Orihime." The country boy apologized as he set her down. No sooner did her feet touch the ground than a spray of heavy fully automatic gunfire rain down on them

"Shit!" Hoss yelled. Urahara was long sense gone and onto his part of the deal. Hoss dove behind a rock as the bullets ricocheted off. "Now time to start the show." Hoss growled as he held his pistol slash zanpackto in front of him. "Shine your heavenly light down on the world."

(Line Break)

Urahara dove for cover from the assault of direct fire. One bullet grazed his leg and he hissed in pain. Even being a former captain, and with all of his knowlege, a firefight was a new experience. Openings were harder to find, more difficult to exploit, and more challenging for him to use Benihime's abilities.

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia heard the gunshots and leapt from the truck. Ichigo's martial skills were forced out in combat with the armed thugs.

Rukia's hand to hand combat was based on huge hollows, but her small size against huge dock workers with fully automatic rifles worked. The night sky overhead changed. The moon appeared to be directly over part of the compound.

(Line Break)

Hoss stayed behind the rock, but held his zanpackto in front of him, rolling out from behind the rock, resting the barrel of the Colt single action army on his forearm. The bullet shot out of the barrel and took out the gunmen that kept Hoss and Orihime pinned down.

"Come on, let's get going." Hoss pulled her up and ran along a building. The wall offering line of sight shelter and protection from the small arms fire currently coming down. Before reaching the corner, Hoss stopped, reloaded his now released zanpackto and revolver. The blast from the revolver was a quiet pop compared to the loud roaring of the automatic assault rifles. Finally Hoss readied a method that was not expected.

"Hado number 33, Shokkaho." the kido was aimed at the wall and demolished it. Debris buried several gunmen and opened up a route to the wall of the offices.

(Line Break)

Urahara stood near the door. He could feel Hoss' spiritual pressure coming near. Sure enough, he slid around the corner, feet kicking out and hand catching him before he landed flat on his face. Orihime was right behind him. Hoss' foot came up before slamming into the door, breaking the latch and forcing it open.

(Line Break)

Hoss' foot broke open the door, Moon Goddess was brought down into a firing position and his eyes instantly scanned the room for anyone with a gun that could shoot him. But the man he came to see was sitting at his desk.

"Well, whatta ya know. Looks like the farm boy has left the fields. Give up Hoss?"

(Line Break)

Rukia and Ichigo climbed back into the truck, waiting for Hoss and the others to get out and take the lead in Hoss' car Black Widow, but the black camero was no where to be seen. The automatic gunfire was ripping holes in the side of the truck and shattering windows. A loud, sickening blast shook the area. Both of them thought about the same man.

(Line Break)

Hoss didn't know what to expect. The Remington .223 rounds that lodged themselves in his stomach came from nowhere. He looked down at the bullet wounds and looked up to see the business end of a military grade M-16 with an M-203 grenade launcher.

"_Where the hell did he pull that rifle from?" _Hoss' mind spun as the full stopping power of the Remington .223 took affect and forced him back. _"There was no where that he could of hid that, except if he… No it's impossible, I'm the only one with that sort of power." _Hoss' head spun as he fell backwards and knocked himself out on the floor.

(Line Break)

Urahara and Orihime saw Hoss fall. Orihime used her Shun Shun Rika to catch him and try and heal the bullet wounds with no result. A metallic click came from behind Orihime and she turned around and heard the gun going off, ears ringing.

The bullets stopped with a clang. She turned around and saw Urahara behind her, zanpackto released and a red mist in front of him stopping the bullets.

"My my now, aren't we getting a little antsy on that trigger?" Urahara asked, sly smile still on his face.

(Line Break)

Ichigo and Rukia looked over to see Hoss getting helped out of the complex by Urahara. Blood dripping from a wound in his stomach. Orihime was using her Shun Shun Rika to stem the bloodloss. Rukia saw this and got the truck moving. There was a loud clunk from behind them and the two could see they lost the trailer. The airlines were severed and the brakes were starting to lock up. Rukia saw a button and hit it. The air pressure stopped falling and the truck rolled through the gate.

(Line Break)

Urahara set Hoss down, his camo jacket was stained with blood. The bullets were backed by spiritual pressure, no doubt. Hollow spirit too. Something wasn't right about it though. It seemed like it was a regular hollow that blended with normal, low spiritual pressure and the hollow only acted as an amplifier.

"Odd," Urahara tried to make sense of what he discovered. "There has only been a handful of these sorts of beings and their powers are far from controlled in the best case scenario. JD has complete control of his human and hollow spiritual pressures." He looked down at Orihime trying to heal Hoss' wounds. "It's almost like a human vizard. What did they call them?" Urahara looked over to the flat black Camero that brought them here. "Oh yeah, full bringers."

(Line Break)

Hoss came too several hours later. He felt bandages wrapped around his stomach. Pushing himself up, he went to get into the car to drive back to the farm. A feminine voice came from behind him.

"What are you doing?"

"We gotta clear out. It's not safe here." Hoss pushed himself up only to land flat on his back. "Damn."


	11. Highway Hero, pt 1 The Chase

**Same deal, Tite Kubo owns Bleach**

**Lawls177- Don't know, honestly. There is a law saying that farm families can have children drive equipment on farm to market operations. But this isn't exactly farm operations. Second of all, Rukia's driving an 18 wheeler**

* * *

><p>Hoss looked out at the farm fields. Sure they were empty, but he could see several semis rolling through his property. Several times he tried to stop them, but the police threatened to put a restraining order on him if he tried.<p>

He turned around and went back into his shop. The Mack truck that he owned was sitting behind him with a hydraulic winch off of a military surplus truck. A homemade mount was fashioned out of old 2 inch square tubing. The Mack actually had some surprising modifications to it. Axles from a M35A US army truck, gear driven transfer case from an older M35 surplus truck and a few other suprises.

(Line Break)

Shunsui staggered out of the house. Ichigo was out washing the cars at Hoss' recommendation, so he could see everything as the hammered captain fell flat on his face and tried to pick himself up without spilling the glass of whiskey in his hand.

A high pressure blast of cold water partially sobered the captain up.

Ichigo turned around and could see Rukia standing behind him with an electric pressure washer.

(Line Break)

A Chevrolet 502 and Chevrolet 454 bellowed up a hill, the screaming of a police siren was behind the cars that tore over the hill. Black Widow and Zangetsu took up both lanes of traffic on the empty country road. Right before a dirt road turned off, Hoss locked up Black Widow's brakes and whipped it around, jamming the transmission into first gear and smoking the tires as Ichigo whipped Zangetsu's back end over on the pavement and hit the dirt sending roosts.

Hoss tried his hardest to use the manual transmission in Black Widow to create a dust cloud to hide the two cars from view without much luck. The police issue impalas could keep up with the souped up muscle cars on the gravel roads because they had front wheel drive. Hoss and Ichigo were using rear wheel drive. Sure they could slide around the corners a bit better, but the power just wasn't there.

Hoss locked up the rear wheels again. Sliding the back end over and stopping in the middle of the road. The two police cars stopped as soon as they could but wound up going in the ditch behind him and wrecking the whole body. The one cop car that could stop followed him into the empty bean field.

(Line Break)

Orihime held onto the roll cage inside Zangetsu for dear life. The poor girl was not even used to high speeds, much less 70 MPH on gravel.

She squealed as Ichigo stomped on the brakes and power slid around a corner, 454 screaming in protest.

(Line Break)

Hoss worked the wheel fast and furious. Rukia could of sworn he was about to use shunpo. The screaming of the police sirens behind them wasn't doing anything to calm down the mayhem. Just as things started to calm down, Hoss slammed on the brakes without warning and snapped the rear end around before dropping it into 1st gear and doing a series of doughnuts in the dirt and throwing dust into the air.

"What are you doing?" Rukia more or less screamed at him.

"Old smokescreen tactic. They can't see us, but downside, we can't see them. My grandpa taught me this tactic in the 80s and told me his grandpa used it all the way back in the 30s."

Black Widow punched through the cloud of dust and headed back to the main road.

(Line Break)

Hoss pulled up to a small bar where Ichigo was already at. Cases of clear liquid in mason jars were sitting along side of the back of Zangetsu. Hoss brought Black Widow along side. An older woman came outside to help with the unloading.

"How's it going Mable?" Hoss asked the woman as he opened Black Widow's trunk and started unloading shine

That was until a scream of a police siren was heard.

"Shit!" Hoss was half way to the door before he set down his cases and vaulted over the hood of Zangetsu and climbed into Black Widow through the window. "Ichigo, try and finish unloading the shine in Zangetsu, after that, head back to base. Orihime, Rukia, stay here and help him. I'll keep the cops busy." The Chevy 502 revved to life and spun the rear tires kicking up dirt and sand. The tires squealed as Hoss whipped the rear end around and headed the opposite direction as the police car.

(Line Break)

Hoss swore as he shifted Black Widow into high gear and mashed the throttle to the floor. What ever was in that police car could keep up with Black Widow no problem. The 502 struggled as the speedo topped out and the RPMs dropped as the engine hit the rev-limiter.

"Sorry girl, but you're going to have to give a bit more today." Hoss reached over and flipped an aircraft safety override switch. He wired the system to reset the engine rev limit to free up an extra thousand revs, increase fuel volume and pressure by kicking in a second fuel pump and advancing the spark timing on the distributor. Black Widow's engine growled as the extra two to three horses came into the picture and pushed the speedometer up to 180 and climbing. _'The only chance I got is if I can get on the interstate.'_ Hoss thought as he downshifted to make a turn, locked up the rear wheels and slid onto a crossroad. Dumping the clutch and mashing the throttle down, the rear tires spun as he headed onto a well traveled street. Car horns blasted at him as he slid through the intersection. One of the only stoplights in the area didn't even stop him. Locking up the rear brakes, he slid sideways and headed onto the on ramp of the interstate.

The burly, high revving V-8 went through its full RPM range as Hoss drove, trying to get as much of a power advantage as he could over the police. The extra horses were already galloping with the rest of the herd by the time Hoss hit 4th gear, but it wasn't enough.

(Line Break)

Ichigo drove hard, Rukia had a lock on Hoss' spiritual pressure and was more or less screaming at Ichigo which way to turn.

"Ichigo, LEFT NOW!" The orange haired driver slammed on the brakes and whipped the rear end around as the car horns blasted at him. Strangely enough, Ichigo was following in the exact same tracks as Hoss was earlier.

Merging onto the expressway, Ichigo put his foot to the floor and tried to catch up to Hoss.

"Think we'll be able to catch him?" Ichigo grabbed the shifter, he had seen Hoss do this a few times while driving his truck, but doubted it would work in Zangetsu.

"There's a chance." Rukia tried to keep Ichigo on track, with varying success.

Somehow, the Nova disappeared for a split second from the eyesight and reappeared about a mile down the road.

All the occupants, soul reaper or human, blinked in surprised.

"Ichigo, can a car do that?"

"I don't think so."

"I never heard of anything like that happening." Rukia looked the most shocked while Orihime looked dazed from the sudden burst of speed.

"Well then, let's do it again." Ichigo grinned. Replicating the feeling again, Zangetsu disappeared from sight and then reappeared right in front of a police taking radar.

(Line Break)

The officer lined up his radar and clocked the black nova at over 120 MPH. "I got you now." He cranked up his standard issue Impala and started the lights and siren. No sooner that he put it in drive, the car disappeared and then reappeared about a mile down the road. "What the!" The officer said. "Chief ain't never going to belief this!"

(Line Break)

Things were starting to go south for Hoss. The Chevy 502 was creating too much heat for the radiator to remove from the coolant. Even the aluminum high efficiency radiator couldn't remove enough. The engine coolant temp gauge climbed to 250 and Hoss flipped the heater on full blast. Even though he was almost going 200 miles an hour, the fans couldn't move enough air and he was loosing power fast. What ever was in those police issue cruisers was good. There was one trick though Hoss had up his sleeve.

The brakes began glowing cherry red. For most brake systems, the was the failure point, but the brakes on Black Widow were anything but standard. Things were just starting to get heated up.

(Line Break)

Even using the modified version of Shunpo, Ichigo was still struggling to catch up to Hoss, his Camero had more power than Zangetsu ever would under normal circumstances. Even less than ideal circumstances would render it damn near impossible.

Rukia's soul phone started going off and she answered it.

"Ichigo, it's Urahara."


	12. Highway Hero Part 2

"Ichigo, it's Urahara."

(Line Break)

The brakes were up to temperature. Although common knowledge claims that cold brakes work better, the carbon fiber ceramic brake setup Hoss ran on Black Widow didn't get it's full stopping power until the brakes started glowing. Something about the pads and rotors expand and increase clamping power or something like that. Hoss never paid much attention to how they worked, he just knew they worked.

Jumping straight from the throttle to the clutch to downshift, road course driving skill came into play. Hoss cut over to the opposite lane of traffic and jumped back on the throttle.

"I gotta keep these cops busy. I have a few long term advantages."

(Line Break)

"So, you rigged up a device in my car that takes some of my spiritual energy and then uses it to protect the steel, and if I channel it right, I can use a modified version of shunpo."

"_You got it Ichigo." _Urahara's voice could be heard holding that sly smile he usually had on when Ichigo caught on to something. _"It can even draw enough out to allow you to use bankai. Have fun." _With that, the shopkeeper hung up.

Ichigo tried to get the ex-captain back on the line with no reaction.

Police sirens started blaring, things were getting even more serious.

(Line Break)

Chad sat down for a break. Hoss told him that there were several piles of lumber that needed to get loaded onto a trailer for him to tow to the field where JD's semis were rolling through. Urahara had the TV on a local news station, what he saw alarmed him.

"_Is there anything you can tell us?"_The woman at the studio asked as the TV cut to a chopper shot of a flat black Camero.

"_Yes, we are receiving conformation that the police are also involved at this time in a high speed chase as well with a 1975 Chevrolet Nova. All that has been conformed is that the driver of that car is a young man, of Japanese decent, and he has bright orange hair that we assume is dyed. It is unknown at this time if either driver is armed and dangerous."_The reporter spoke from the chopper.

"_In case you are just joining us, we are following two high speed chases. One is a 2011 Chevrolet Camero headed westbound on I-80 and the other is a 1975 Chevy Nova headed eastbound." _The reporters at the station had their voices coming over the TV. Chad knew who it was, Ichigo and Hoss. Both knew that there was the chance of the police chasing them. All that he, Urahara and Uryu could do was watch.

"_DID YOU SEE THAT! The Nova just disappeared. Now it's heading westbound along with the Camero. We will bring more on this story as it develops."_ After that, the standard returning to normal programming came on.

"Well, that looked interesting." Urahara sat in a chair with his fan over his face.

(Line Break)

Ichigo laid into the throttle and was right behind Hoss. The two of them were driving down the road, Hoss using Black Widow to punch through the air and with his higher horsepower. Without as much as a second thought, Ichigo pulled up closer and began pushing with Zangetsu's front bumper on Black Widow's rear bumper.

(Line Break)

Hoss felt the thud as Zangetsu's black chrome bumper began pushing. A NASCAR bump draft that would rival the skill of Tony Stewart. With the strain off the 502, the engine temperature fell pretty good.

(Line Break)

A grandfather and grandson were sitting along a small pond, enjoying the crisp air and trying to catch fish.

(Line Break)

Ichigo had backed off as Hoss pulled off the interstate and hooked a sharp right and the front tires hooked in hard. Brake rotors began glowing red on Black Widow. Zangetsu's rear end whipped out and snapped back into line around the corner. Both drivers laid into the throttles hard.

(Line Break)

"Ichigo, slow down. Your going to wreck if you keep this up." Rukia yelled at the driver as they slid sideways again into a corner and almost landed in the ditch.

"I've got everything under control Rukia." Ichigo's scowl deepened. He knew that things were getting hairy. And if he and Hoss made one mistake, things were going to get real ugly real quick. 'What are you doing Hoss?'

(Line Break)

"Speed, I need speed." Hoss growled. Once again the 502 engine was bouncing off of the elevated rev limiter. Everything was working full tilt, and normally he would be reaching well over 175 and pushing 180. The gravel and dirt barely allowed Black Widow to reach 150. If he didn't at least manage 170, he was going to be in trouble.

(Line Break)

The grandfather and grandson looked up from their fishing lines. The roaring of high performance engines filled the air. They could see the first car plow through a shallow part of the creek sending water everywhere, the second one slowing down through the creek and then picking up speed.

Both were shocked at the site and then saw several police cars plow into the water and flood their engines, hydro locking them. Officers got out and swore angrily at the two drivers.

(Line Break)

Hoss and Ichigo tore through the small single car wide path through the field. Both laughing at the sight. That was until Hoss looked down the path and saw a semi driving straight at them.

He slammed on his brakes, snapped the wheel to the side and managed to get out of the way. Ichigo did the same but the back end of Zangetsu wasn't as lucky. The back bumper was tore off and the passenger side quarter panel was completely smashed in.

"Everyone OK?" Hoss was out of his car and running over to the wounded Nova.

"Just fine." Came a resounding reply from inside along with a heated yell from a certain substitute Vizard. The blast of another air horn signaled the approach of another illegally traveling semi.

The two women heard Hoss shout something about a horse's rear at the driver.

(Line Break)

Thankfully no damage came from either car's mishap. Hoss looked over both Black Widow and Zangetsu, the car named after the zanpackto suffered only minor damage. Strictly body damage. When the group reached Hoss' farm though, it became apparent that there was more damage than expected.

The fender well was collapsed partially and rubbing on the tire. Thankfully they were close enough, Hoss and Ichigo decided to risk it, and barely made it home.

The Nova was now pulled into it's stall again in the repair shed and the rear end was up on blocks with the damaged rear tire off. Hoss was currently under the back end with a hammer pounding out the worst of the damage. Finally there was a loud thud and Hoss threw the hammer across the shop, hitting close enough to a cat to make it yelp. (Said cat was actually Yoruichi trying to be crafty, but… well…)

Hoss climbed out from under the Nova with grease, dirt and disappointment on his fact.

"I can't do much with the quarter panel, I've got to run into town and get a new one." Hoss stood up, walked to the door and looked at Ichigo. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

(Line Break)

Hoss and Chad walked into a store, Twitchy's Speed and Performance. Moving past rows of stacked performance filters, performance oils, tools, a selection of drag radial street tires, along with 4x4 components and offroad tires.

"Hey Twitchy, ya in here?" Hoss yelled when the two of them stood at the front desk.

A man came out with a twitch shaking his shoulder.

"Hey Hoss. What can I do for you today? Need a new set of boggers?" Whatever the man said came out at full speed. Didn't seem to phase the four wheel cowboy.

"Kay, ready? I need a passenger side quarter panel for a 1972 Nova, black chrome bumper for said Nova, a belt driven blower and installation kit, blower hood and a butterfly valve for the top end. Throw some K&N filter material in on that too."

Is that for a GM intake manifold or a aftermarket?"

"Edlebrok performance street and strip."

(Line Break)

Orihime and Rukia walked into a large store. Inside were items ranging from hand tools and power tools on one side, to precision machinery, heavy equipment that the two girls had no idea what it was for. In the back was firearms of several varieties. Seeing as how the two girls had no sturdy clothing for outdoors work, and Rukia had no clothes that she didn't borrow from Karin or Yuzu, Hoss sent them to this store. The two of them managed to find the women's clothing department.


	13. What's the worst that could happen?

**Need I say it? I don't own Bleach. Tite Kubo does. **

**Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. **

* * *

><p>Rukia and Orihime walked out of the store, bags hanging from their hands and a small clinking from their feet. Squealing of tires and a car plowed into the fire hydrant behind them half a block.<p>

(Line Break)

Hoss, Ichigo, Uryu and Chad just finished loading up some supplies that Hoss had bought. Having just loaded the trailer behind the farm's flatbed, they were taking a break and having a cold Dr. Pepper.

"We're back." Orihime's voice got the guys' attention and they turned around and their jaws started to drop.

The four of them wound up looking like beached fish with their mouths agate.

(Line Break)

Urahara knew that if Hoss caught him tinkering on his car, he was as good as dead. That didn't stop him from installing a wood plaque on the dashboard, but what was odd was that it was only visible to the spiritually aware.

(Line Break)

Shunsui stood and made his report to the other 9 captains.

"Hoss is a very powerful individual, with proper training he would benefit the Gotei 13 greatly. There is even the potential that he could fill one of the three empty captain positions." That preposition was met with an uproar from several captains.

"ARE YOU NUTS!" Soi Fon bellowed, "That American is not eligible for a Captain's position. Remember the last time an American was in a seated position?"

"It was that Crockett fellow." Unohana's calm voice cut through the air, startling the short squad two captain. "I remember that it was a temporary fill in for the former captain of squad 5 before Azien took command. He was killed in a mission to deal with a Menos Grande hollow in the world of the living."

The arguing to and for Hoss becoming a captain reached a cresendo soon and it was clear that the Head Captain had heard enough.

"Silence." He slammed the staff in his hands down, silencing the arguing quickly. "We will deal with both Hoss and the Substitute Shinigami Ichigo Kurosaki in the same manner. They shall receive training and positions shall be offered upon creditals. Hoss shall receive Substitute Shinigami status. Moving on to the next item…"

(Line Break)

Hoss was struggling to keep his attention on the task at hand. His flatbed was loaded with parts, a grain body for an old wagon frame he had and several pallets of miscellaneous things. Chad and Uryu were riding with him in the truck while Ichigo drove back a new used pickup Hoss got from a friend of his for the farm.

Backing the Chevy truck into the shed, Everyone could see the truck Ichigo was driving pull into the yard with a plum of bluish smoke before it died. Hoss rolled his eyes as he walked up to the broke down Nissan truck.

"Told them I wanted nothing to do with foreign trucks." he muttered as he walked over to the stranded import. When he was over, Ichigo popped the hood and Hoss was greeted with the smoke and smell of burning engine oil along with steam from an overheated cooling system. Hoss sighed and decided that there was nothing else except some drastic repairs.

(Line Break)

An old farm tractor idled, (Although it was still a roar) in front of the broke down Nissan truck. A strap ran from the drawbar on the tractor to the front end of the imported truck and the tractor more or less drug it to the shop.

(Line Break)

Hoss was now passed out in his room, going for three days straight just about killed him.

Only sign that he was still alive was the constant sound of snoring.

Ichigo, Chad, Rukia, Orihime and Uryu were all around a table upstairs. Urahara had disappeared for a few hours, and no one was worried.

"So, what do we do now?" Rukia was bored, no training, nothing to do, and her boredom was passed around the group.

"I guess we could head to town." Ichigo suggested.

"You don't have anything to drive Kurosaki." Uryu pushed his glasses up his nose. "Besides, what can we do in town? This area is rural, compared to what we are used to this town is a wasteland."

"He's got a point Ichigo." Rukia looked over to the two guys. "Besides, you look rather distracted since the trip to town today." She stood up and walked over to the window, Ichigo drove his head into the table

(Line Break)

Hoss grunted as he woke up, his body groaned in protest as joints popped into place. The bullet wound in his back was there and flared up slightly.

"Typical, I sleep for 48 hours and my bullet flairs up."

Walking up the stairs, he heard yelling and what sounded like gunshots. Pulling out his Single Action Army, he kept it at his side and opened the door.

A large flat screen was set up, an Xbox 360 hooked up and Ichigo, Chad, and Uryu were playing Black Ops, Rukia hollering at Ichigo to pay attention. Orihime and Urahara were no where to be seen. He could only assume that they were out walking the property.

"Having fun?" he spoke up.

Ichigo turned around just as Uryu blew his guy to kingdom come and Rukia yelled at him.

(Line break)

Orihime stood near the damaged quarter panel, her santen kessue reversing the damage caused from the impact.

Even though she knew nothing about cars, the damage was easy enough to fix.

"Hope this works."

(Line Break)

Hoss looked over to see Orihime walk back in, slightly greasy, but nothing worse than when they went into JD's. Everyone was sitting around the table, pretzels, chips, dip and other snacks were spread out.

"Any ideas of what we can do?" Hoss' voice cut through the air. The rest of the Substitute group already knew what Hoss was talking about but Orihime was caught up by Rukia.

"Is there any chance that we could infiltrate the transportation hub and take a couple of the trailers?" Ichigo's suggestion was the most valid.

"We could, but the place is now guarded like Fort Knox. Unless Urahara knows of a way to make my truck invisible, we can't do it."

Hoss got up, and as going outside to work on the damage to Ichigo's Nova.

(Line Break)

Hoss scratched his head, he could of sworn that the quarter panel was toast. When he looked at it today, there wasn't a scratch. They might have a chance….They just might….

(Line Break)

Ichigo, Rukia, Chad and Hoss stood over a map of the area. There were several circles, lines and highlighted areas and Chappy brand markers along with sharpies and rustolium paint pens laid around the table.

"So, its agreed. Rukia and Orihime will take my grandpa's truck, wait outside the shipping center, Ichigo and Chad will follow myself in Zangetsu, I'll bust a way through the gate, hook up to a trailer with Ichigo creating a distraction, and then the two of us will get the hell outta Dodge." Hoss' strategic plan was explained on the map and he used two sharpies to mark where his truck and Ichigo's route would be. "Ichigo, you will have to jump onto the interstate, I will meet you near mile marker 221. I'll cut straight through this forest." A red circle went around a green area with brown lines running through it. "There's going to be quite a bit of mud, so I'm going to have to take a bit more time."

"So, Rukia and I will take this road," Orihime begin tracing a route with one of Rukia's chappy pens, both Hoss and Ichigo offered a pen or highlighter, but the young woman paid no heed as she used the cartoon character merchandise. "Meet up with you two and then we will head to that office."

"You know what this is?" Hoss asked the group. "It's the perfect sting."

(Line Break)

Hoss had just walked out to his shop and found Urahara sleeping on his workbench, strangest thing was he had a torque wrench in his hand. Passing it off and hoping that the ex-captain wasn't messing with anything, Hoss put a new tire and wheel on Zangetsu. Setting the back end on the ground again, he opened the hood and waited for Ichigo to get outside. Grabbing a ratchet, he pulled off the carburetor and the air intake. Opening the boxes for the blower, he pulled out the new gaskets and hardware.

(Line Break)

The butterfly valve on the top of the chevy 454 fluttered before flapping wide open. The engine rocked the entire body as the engine's torque showed up. The rerouted exhaust shot out from under the front doors. Hoss slammed the new hood down as Ichigo revved the engine, backing out of the door. Once he was clear he stuck the transmission into drive and jumped onto the throttle.


	14. Fake ID

"No way in Hell Ichigo, there is no way that you are going to that bar! That's set in concrete and final." Hoss bellowed. Both of them knew that Ichigo was not getting allowed into a bar after 9 without an ID stating he was over 21. The Substitute Shinigami went as far as to try and get a fake from one of the dealers around the county. Seeing as the local police were already keeping an all too close and too personal eye on the group.

Ichigo's bright orange hair served rather poorly as a target. Making the whole group stand out was a problem.

Turning around, Hoss moved outside to finish repairing his Mack truck. Even with everything going on, he knew that maintenance was key to the commercial truck's live span.

(Line Break)

Ichigo looked around the dark house. In fact it was rare, from what he heard Hoss was in bed before midnight. A loud thud came through the hall and Ichigo froze.

Nothing happened, so he passed it off as Hoss shifting in his sleep.

Closing the back door and locking it with a spare key, Ichigo moved outside to the barn that his car was stored in.

(Line Break)

Hoss stirred, then awoke with a start. At first he passed it off as a bad dream, but then he heard the rumble of Ichigo's chevy 454. When he heard that sound, he shot out of bed and grabbed his rifle.

(Line Break)

Hoss ran out of the door to his house just as Ichigo hammered the throttle.

"Ichigo, get your damned ass back here!" Hoss bellowed as he cocked his rifle and fired a shot in the air.

(Line Break)

Chad, Rukia, Orihime, Uryu and Urahara awoke with a start at the sound of the shot. Shunsui was hung over and crashing on the couch. Rolling off the couch in agony.

(Line Break)

Hoss ran in the house. He threw on his jeans and a t-shirt and grabbed his keys and wallet. As he was running out the door, he was getting on his boots and had his Colt Single Action Army pistol hanging out in the open off of his belt. He stopped for a moment as he saw Rukia, looking shaken, standing by the door.

"Rukia, did Ichigo say where he was going?" Hoss asked at her as he was getting his second boot on.

"No."

"Did he say anything at all?"

"He said something about meeting a guy. Someone with a weird name. Je Dee."

"THAT DUMBASS!" Hoss bellowed. "Rukia, get in your truck and take Chad with you. Go look for Ichigo."

With that, Hoss ran out of the house, fired up Black Widow and tore off after the orange haired substitute shigigami.

(Line Break)

Ichigo walked down dark alley. If he could have had his zanpackto out, he would of.

At the end of the alley, there was a man with a long trench coat.

"You got the money?"

(Line Break)

Hoss planted his foot hard on the floor. Even though he knew that it was the worst thing he could do for the transmission and gears, he did it anyway.

Police started blaring behind him and he started driving harder.

"I've got to find Ichigo." His mind knew what he had to too.

A guitar riff came over the radio he barely had on and he turned it up.

(Line Break)

Rukia had a lock on Ichigo's spiritual pressure and was following it. When she was within a block, it started moving quick. Chad was quiet as normal, but he seemed to be analyzing something. Rukia put her foot down in the truck and the turbocharger screamed.

(Line Break)

Hoss was driving hard and managed to loose the police. Moving through town, he was passed in the opposite direction by a Nova with a blower sticking out of the hood. Slamming on the brakes, he whipped the back end around. Rukia screamed by in her semi as he slammed the throttle to the floor. Tires squealed in protest as the 502 bellowed and forced the stationary Camero up to speed.

Even though Ichigo had a supercharger, Black Widow was able to catch up easily with the naturally aspirated engine. Hoss tried to get in front but somehow Ichigo was able to get in front of him. Hooking a sharp left, Ichigo was able to loose his instructor and ally.

(Line Break)

Ichigo began to feel bad, he ditched Hoss and Rukia, all for going to see a band. Getting out to go check on them, he was soon grabbed on the shoulder by a burly man.

"Oh, you're just in time." The man shoved Ichigo into the building behind him.

Inside was a bar with loud guitars, rowdy crowds and the smell of tobacco smoke heavy in the air.

(Line Break)

Hoss growled. Ichigo was in the club, so he had to go in there after him. He parked Black Widow a block away and left the doors unlocked. Reaching in the trunk, he grabbed a gun belt and a canvas bag from inside, slamming the trunk, he started to the bar only to be stopped by Rukia and Orihime.

"You two head back to the farm. I've got this." With that he strode past them, both confused.

(Line Break)

Hoss clung to the wall, for some reason his gut kept telling him that he needed to keep low. Looking up he saw a bathroom window open, he jumped up, grabbed onto the ledge and pulled himself up.

Dropping down, he saw that he was in a storage room. Even if the door was locked, he had a master key to get out and along with his shaky kido. Sneaking around the crates, he got to the door and tried it.

"Open, sweet." he mumbled and snuck out.

(Line Break)

"So, are you sure that we can move forward?"

"Of course, Hoss is in the club without a doubt. That Ichigo kid is there, so let them in." JD gave the order.

(Line Break)

"We got our orders, move, move, move."

With precision of a Swiss watch, the swat team converged on the club.

(Line Break)

Hoss was now mixed into the crowd, that was until shouts of police entering the building. Without thinking, he used a quick and effectively fast shunpo, confusing people nearby in the process but no attention was paid. Hiding behind a corner, a swat team member looked at him long enough to see a fist coming at his face and knocking him out.

"Hate to do that to you dude, no hard feelings." Hoss muttered as he pulled rope out of the canvas bag and tied the man up, relieving him of the gun, shield and pepper spray on him, setting them on the pile, taking only the ammunition out of the man's firearm.

"Remington .223s. Damn." Hoss muttered as he emptied the clip into the ground. Even though the ammo was still good, the swat team wouldn't waste time reloading clips.

The now empty clip was thrown over his shoulder as he shunpoed away to find Ichigo.

(Line Break)

Ichigo was slammed against the wall and handcuffed. The police instead of taking him to the waiting cars took him to an office. Inside sat a man with a black cowboy hat and black overcoat.

"Come in, sit."

Ichigo was more or less forced into a seat as the officer escorting him left the room.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, am I correct?" the man turned around, his face couldn't be seen from under his hat

"You might." Ichigo's reply was short and sweet, his scowl present the whole time.

"Yes, Ichigo Kurosaki, Substitute Soul Reaper, you received your initial powers then obtained your true powers to invade the afterlife, correct?" the man's voice had a smug tone to it.

Reaching for his badge, the thought crossed his mind that this guy knew more than he was letting on.

(Line Break)

Hoss felt the sheer weight with no control that was Ichigo's spiritual pressure, for some reason now, it felt darker and more… heartless if it was possible.

Tracking the pressure was no issue. Getting to is was.

Several armed police and security guards stood in front of the door, which was presumably locked.

"Hate to have to use her, but I have no choice." As quietly as he could, Hoss drew his Colt pistol that was also his zanpackto and put 6 copper jacketed 45 caliber rounds in the revolver.

(Line Break)

"YEEEEE HAAAAAW!"

The southern yell broke through the quiet of the room and hallway.

Ichigo knew who was there, it was someone to help him out of this bind.

The door was blasted off of its hinges and a white jacket and Stetson hat wearing figure rode the door in.

The white hat covered the wearer's face, but Ichigo knew who it was.

Without as much as a second to let the shock of his entrance fade, he pulled out his revolver and fired two shots. Both were accurate enough to break the handcuffs off of Ichigo's wrists.

"Hoss!" Ichigo and the man in black spoke in tones with the gunslinger that they associated him with.

"Let him go JD. Ichigo's not your man, if you have a bone to pick, pick it with me."

Loud shots echoed in the room, Ichigo covered his ears.


	15. A Duel and a Gunslinger's Prayer

Hoss groaned. He'd been in pain before, but this was nothing. It felt like his whole being was on fire. Body, soul, the whole burned. Landing on his back, he skidded to a stop just outside the door.

"You see Hoss, I've got you right where I want you. You have something I want." the man stood up, casings from his rifle now laying on the floor still smoking.

"What could you want from me JD? You took my family, my life, even going as far as to take my future I had." Hoss grunted as he pushed himself up onto one arm. Blood oozed from three bullet wounds. His vision began to swim and then fade to black.

(Line Break)

JD stood up, Hoss had lost quite a bit of blood from the three bullet wounds, although the shots missed the kill zone, he would bleed to death soon enough.

"You see Ichigo, I took the liberty of sorting through Hoss's mail and tapping his phone to find out that you were coming here. Given your physical strength, and your spiritual abilities, you are a person I need."

Ichigo rubbed his wrists, although he was in the cuffs for a short amount of time, his wrists still hurt from being pinned behind his back.

"What do you want?" Ichigo scowled at JD as a hand came to rest on his shoulder and a feeling of weakness overtook him.

(Line Break)

Hoss woke up under an over cast night sky. The stars above him were barely visible and the moon was almost completely clouded over. Only a few beams of light from the full moon punched through the cloud cover. Pulling himself up, he saw a woman dressed in all white with silvery-white hair.

"You're a disgrace. Three shots took you down and after all that work." Her voice and figure were familiar, instantly Hoss realized who it was.

"Those were Remington .223s from an AR-15."

"Oh bo ho. You've taken worst hits. Cowboy up. If you let fear win, you will fall back, take no prisoners, leave no wounded. Hit the enemy hard, if they fight back, fight harder."

Hoss looked at his hands. He could feel a second strength entering him.

"Now, fight."

(Line Break)

Hoss's spiritual pressure started to subside and then flair. Ichigo shot a look over and the expelling pressure was no where as his was when he was battling Zaraki, but impressive for him none the less.

"Hope you got your death wish JD. Because I just got a little jumpstart."

He stood up and the wounds in his stomach closed up and started healing. His Colt revolver in his hand had a ghostly white glow around it and the glow moved up his arm, across his chest, and then down his torso and other arm. Soon his whole body was covered in the white glow. Light silver slivers caught on the edge of his spiritual pressure aura.

Three .45 caliber rounds found home in a matter of seconds, behind them were tails of Hoss's silvery white spiritual pressure. The rounds had tails off the back similar to those of a comet, when they hit, it resulted in an explosion.

When the smoke cleared, JD had 3 bullet wounds, oozing blood in the exact same spots as Hoss had taken the gut shots earlier.

"What do you say we really go at it?" Hoss asked smartly as he pulled up his revolver and emptied the last 3 shots.

(Line Break)

The blast had enough power to blow apart the entire cinderblock wall behind JD.

"Ichigo, get out of here." Hoss muttered as he walked by the Substitute Shinigami.

"But why? I can still fight?"

"This is my battle, interfere and I cannot promise your safety." With that, Hoss disappeared and then reappeared several yards down the alleyway.

"You ready?"

"Quit yappin and start fighting." JD yelled as he brought his AR-15 up and pulled the trigger.

With as much movement as a twist of his body, the volley of rounds tore right past him, destroying the cinderblock wall behind him apart and showering shrapnel within a 20 foot radius.

"Ya missed." Hoss grinned under his Stetson. He dropped 6 fresh rounds in his revolver while JD fumbled with a new clip.

His first round was headed right for it's target, and hit, throwing JD several feet backwards in the air. Lowering his own firearm, Hoss was almost hit as another Remington 223 round came at him, this time screaming with a blood red aura around it.

'_What was that, it was similar to my Meteor Strike, but it felt…. Darker.'_ Hoss thought.

(Line Break)

Ichigo stood nearby. Out of range he hoped of the crossfire, but when JD fired the one round, he could see the blood red spiritual energy behind it.

"A cero? How can he fire a cero?"

(Line Break)

Hoss rested a hand on his knee, for some reason, his surge of energy was gone. That blood red shot seemed to move faster, and more of them were coming.

He wasn't fast enough to dodge one that hit him in the shoulder, and another that found home in his knee. Both almost completely destroyed his leg and shoulder. Landing on his side, blood began to pool around him.

'_Damnit. I can't stand anymore.' _He thought. _'Now I'm screwed. If I can't move, then there is one more shot. I have to make it count.' _With his good arm, he raised his revolver, now spotted with his own blood. Hoss remembered something from his childhood. Something passed down in his family for years, his father and grandfather taught it to him, it was called the Gunslinger's Prayer

'_Lord, I ask you to give me the strength I need as I carry my gun, and I pray that I never have to use it. Should I ever have to draw my gun, please give me the strength and the courage to defend myself and protect others. Guide my bullets home and help keep my barrel and heart clear.' _

As Hoss thought of the prayer he was taught when he was old enough to hold a gun, he fired his last shot and the round found home. It gathered spiritual energy as it flew, and hit JD's chest. He was forced back down and coughed blood.

Sadly, soon after the shot was fired, Hoss lost all his remaining strength, Moon Goddess resealed herself and Hoss passed out.


	16. Mudding semis and horsepower

**I'm not too happy with this chapter, but I have no other ideas. **

**Same deal, I own nothing**

* * *

><p>"<em>Attention all units, Attention all units, be on the lookout for a black 2010 Chevrolet Camero and a black 1970s Chevrolet Chevelle. The Camero is all black, clear windows, and frequently drives without headlights, driven by a Caucasian male, brown hair, approximately 30 years old, one Hoss Lohmar. The Chevelle has white characters on the fenders and above the doors, Driven by an Asian male, orange hair, one Ichigo Kurosaki. Both units evaded arrest, use of force has been approved." <em>

(Line Break)

Hoss smirked. He did it, sure it was a really odd goal, but he now had an all point bulletin on the radio about him. Crappy goal sure, but still.

It was a matter of hours before they did their run. Hoss wanted to make the run while the police were preoccupied.

Hoss locked up the rear brakes and pulled Black Widow behind a grove of trees, killing the lights and shutting down the engine. Ichigo swung his car into the ditch and killed the lights. The police tore past them like they were still ahead.

(Line Break)

Hoss looked over the transport hub. Even though it was dark out, modified goggles illuminated the area that was near the loading docks. As soon as the last green bale was thrown into a trailer and the trailer was sealed, Hoss sent out the word.

"Breaker breaker, This is Death Cowboy, the cats have thrown the yarn, moving in, maintain radio silence." His mind drifted back, it 7 years ago.

_(Flashback )_

_Hoss was a young and green soldier. It was his first mission behind enemy lines. He patted his chosen side arm, ironically the Colt Single Action Army. He caught crap from his comrades about the revolver. But it was the army's side arm of choice before the Colt M1911, and the Berretta 9 millimeter semi-auto. The order came in to move out, then to maintain radio silence. Several of his friends did not make it back._

_(End Flashback) _

Hoss gritted his teeth as he started the 6x6 Mack truck. Now or never.

(Line Break)

Ichigo listened to the radio and heard the message, it was show time. The blown 454 roared into life.

He pulled onto the road and then mashed his right foot down as far it went. Butterfly valves opened and tires hooked up hard. With a hard turn off of the pavement and onto the dirt road, Ichigo could see a Mack truck come out of a patch of trees and barreling at the gate. The air horn bellowed as the front end of the truck met with the gate, collapsing it under the strain. Guards came out and opened fully automatic gunfire on Hoss' truck.

(Line Break)

Hoss grinned. The bullets ricocheted off of the steel plating on the front of the truck. It was initially added as insurance for off-road hauls and deliveries in the Alaskan wilderness and Canadian bush. US deliveries were pretty easy for the road system. Now the extra weight and protection came out and stopped the rounds that were coming at him. Ichigo started drawing attention to himself along with the fire. Hoss moved his truck in front of the trailer and did his fasted hookup.

(Line Break)

Rukia and Orihime looked on from the wooded side road, they were waiting for the guys to get out of there. That was until the malovent spiritual energy of a hollow reared it's head.

(Line Break)

Ichigo spun his car, Zangetsu, around kicking up a cloud of dust. He gunned the motor and shot out of the dust and past the gate, Hoss was hot on his heels with the Mack and trailer.

(Line Break)

Hoss spun the wheel hard. His route was not going to be easy with his rig. There was only one line for him and if he missed it, he was SOL. The transfer case and transmission whined from the gears being so low. Heavy duty semi offroad tires spun and cleared themselves of mud in a hurry, burying the low hanging landing gear on the trailer.

(Line Break)

Rukia growled, the hollow had scored a hit on her arm slightly above her wrist. Thankfully no damage that would effect her use of Sode no Shikuri. Orihime was busy trying to protect herself with her Shun Shun Rika from other hollows that showed up.

(Line Break)

Ichigo mashed down the throttle. He hoped the trap Uryu planned would work.

(Line Break)

Uryu stood on top of a hill crest. There was another one in front of him, Ichigo's planned path would send him, along with any pursuers. His bow was ready and with Chad near by as heavy artillery should the need arise. The bellowing of Ichigo's heavy right foot filled the air. Uryu adjusted his glasses and readied his bow.

The bellowing of a 454 filled the air, With relaxed arms, Uryu drew his bowstring.

(Line Break)

Ichigo looked in his rear view mirror. The police were drawing closer, but his Zangetsu was still winding up. Hoss warned him that automatic transmissions had less power to the rear wheels than manuals. Now he believed it.

Looking in the rear mirror again, he saw a police car loose control and take out another.

Blue glowing arrows flew past, destroying the police car tires.

(Line Break)

Officers climbed out of their cars after they were sure the damage was done. Remnants of the carcasses of standard issue police duty tires littered the road.

"HOW IN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN!"

(Line Break)

Offroad driving with a trailer was hard enough, but throw a whole bunch of angry criminals after you with fully automatic weapons, and a Mack with enough weight over the back end to sink straight through a mud hole to the bottom, things could not get any worse.

Splashing through a mud hole, black smoke billowed out of the duel stacks as the turbocharger screamed.

"I hope the rest of them are OK."

(Line Break)

Hoss could not of been more wrong. Ichigo was out of luck as heavy gunfire rained down, slicing through the sheet metal of the Nova without a problem. One shot was lucky enough to slice through a radiator line and the pressure caused the coolant to be sprayed all over the engine compartment, causing the extreme heat buildup to shut down and lock up the Chevy 454 from the extreme heat in the block.

Ichigo went to open the door, but was stopped by a man he knew with a AR-15 and a black Stetson.

"Hold it right there boy."

(Line Break)

Rukia finally managed to defeat the hollow, but at a great challenge. She collapsed to the ground unconscious. Orihime wasn't much better, but tried to heal Rukia, but passed out shortly after.

(Line Break)

Hoss's truck rammed the trees standing in-between the front of it and the interstate. Spinning the wheel, a sickening feeling hit his gut. It was almost as if something was going on and he had no power to stop it. Then he realized what it was, Rukia's spiritual energy was dropping, and Ichigo's was being oppressed by a sickeningly familiar energy.

"JD." He growled.


	17. A showdown, and not a high noon

**Ok, same deal, Tite Kubo owns Bleach, I don't. **

* * *

><p>Hoss growled, the front end of the Mack punched through a guard rail as he spun the wheel. He could tell Ichigo was in trouble, but he didn't stand a snowball's chance in Hell.<p>

(Line Break)

Ichigo reached for his combat pass and managed to grab it, JD however was able to stop him by raising his rifle.

"Don't move kid. I've got enough firepower here to rival the United States Marines."

(Line Break)

Hoss was at a loss. The Mack was not built for speed, so he couldn't cover as much ground as he could with the Kenworth, but that wouldn't do him much good now. With the truck hidden in a wooden grove, he realized that Shunpo would be his only option.

"Hope I know what I'm doing." With the distinct sound, Hoss launched himself into the most important shunpo so far of his shinigami carrier.

(Line Break)

"So, that dumb hillbilly thought he could take me down? Well, guess what?" JD loomed over the now fallen Ichigo, several bullet wounds from the AR-15 pierced his body. One in each of his shoulders eliminated any and all movement from his arms. One round actually managed to sideswipe one of his lungs, making breathing difficult in his body. "He's not smart enough to take me down when he had the chance." JD started cackling as he raised the military grade assault rifle and aimed at Ichigo's chest. The barrel started glowing an eerie red, a cero.

Ichigo swore that everything slowed down, he didn't know much about firearms, but he could here the hammer hit the firing pin, firing pin hit the primer, and the powder inside of the Remington 223 round go off, pushing the bullet out of the barrel. Now there was nothing he could do. Except wait for the end.

**(BANG)**

Ichigo looked up to see a familiar white Stetson and revolver. Smoke still poured from the revolver's barrel from the shot Hoss fired that Ichigo knew saved him.

(Line Break)

Hoss growled. JD's sick smirk made him want to puke and then shove a stick of C4 military grade explosives up a certain region, light the fuse and run like hell to watch the show. He was out-matched in firepower without a doubt. JD had more power and speed from the 223s he packed compared to the Colt 45s. The clip in the AR-15 held twice the ammo, and had rapid fire. Hoss looked down at the Peacemaker in his hand, a legend in it's own right, time for the legend to renew it's name.

"Shine your heavenly light upon the world, Moon Goddess." Silver spiritual pressure slowly enveloped Hoss and wrapped around his revolver, giving it a ghostly glow like a full moon. Experience from self-defense training brought up the now released zanpackto. The hammer came back and it was now go-time.

(Line Break)

Uryu and Chad slowly walked back to the waiting truck. Hoss loaned them an old farm truck, plates rusted up beyond recognition, but the rest of the truck was in decent shape. Chad watched as Uryu took the driver's seat.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Chad looked worriedly over to the Quincy.

"Of course Chad, I've driven before." Uryu started the truck as it lurched from not having the clutch engaged.

(Line Break)

The two gunmen stood facing each other. Hoss glared down the sight, spiritual energy now circulating around him, focusing mainly on the man in front of him.

JD however had his rifle hanging from his hip lazily. Only decent grip on the firearm was on the stock grip.

Hoss' lone shot was muted by several rounds coming out in a steady stream. Diving for cover, Hoss tried to return fire to the wide open and exposed JD, but with minimal effect.

"What are you doing!?" A voice echoed through Hoss' head. A very familiar feminine one. "Quit letting him run the battle. Take charge, take no prisoners, leave no wounded."

With a momentary thought, Hoss shot out from behind his cover, dove to the ground and started trying to shoot. One round grazed JD's side, blood sprayed from the bullet and then trickled down his side, staining the black shirt and dripping onto his boots.

"Not bad yellowhammer, but you have to do better." JD changed out the clip as Hoss stood up. Spiritual energy swirled around him and began to focus at his revolver barrel.

"If that wasn't bad, I'm finishing things off with a bang. Meteor Strike!" Hoss bellowed as the bullet plowed into JD's chest, the bullet pierced his chest and traveled straight through and out his back.

JD fell to the ground in a bleeding mess.

Hoss strode up, after last time, he was making sure that there was no way that would happen again. Standing a good 20 paces away, he brought the hammer back. His finger tightened up on the trigger.

"Push him over the edge, El Diablo Loco!" A violent blast of dark spiritual energy shot outward like a bomb drop.

Hoss and Ichigo had their jaws slack as JD released a zanpackto, an arrancar type.

"Don't fail me now girl." Hoss muttered to his zanpackto, wincing as she screamed at him things that would raise the rating of this fanfic should I repeat them.

Ichigo had since dove for his Combat pass and was now left his body in his car. Zangetsu was straight out in front of Ichigo, hilt wrapping flapping in a slight wind.

Hoss held his arm out and managed to stop Ichigo from releasing his bankai with a shout of protest from the affected substitute. Shinigami. "Ichigo, I appreciate what you are trying to do, but please, for the love of all that is holy, unless a bullet is lodged in my chest and I am dead with my soul about to be destroyed, please stay out of this." Hoss's voice was calm and even, certainty flowed from him with a strength the Japanese teenager couldn't place. "I'm a former United States of America Soldier, I went to hell and back for my country. I think I can handle this."

Colt 45s quickly went off as to drive the point home. Hoss shoved Ichigo in a ditch and dove for cover as he started emptying the casings out of the revolver. By the time he hit the ground, the revolver was empty and he was loading fresh ammo into it.

The hail of gunfire resulted in Hoss keeping low to the bank on instinct, but Ichigo was pulled down on multiple accounts as he tried to use a Getsuga Tensho.

What he fail to notice was the fact that Hoss was concentrating his spiritual energy into the shots he had.

(Line Break)

"Come on Cowboy." JD tried to taunt the moon wielding human gunslinger. "That all you got? Truly that's pathetic."

"Then try this on for size… METEOR STRIKE!" Hoss jumped up and rapid fired the 5 shots in his revolver. Each and every one gathering spiritual energy as they headed to their target.

All 5 hit with enough force to through JD backwards across the road and into the ditch on the opposite side, AR-15 flying to the side.

With a shunpo, Hoss kicked the semi-automatic away from JD even further. A sad look filled his eyes as he looked down at the stricken enemy.

"Sorry things had to end this way cuz." He loaded a fresh round in the revolver and aimed for the heart. Spiritual energy focused itself at the barrel and Hoss pulled the trigger.

The silence after the shot was deafening. JD's body slowly began to disintegrate.

Hoss removed his hat and held it over his heart.

(Line Break)

The police had shown up about 20 minutes after Hoss delivered the finishing shot to JD. After some questioning, the police looked at the load in the trailer and the weapon along with some non-life-threatening wounds. The paramedics patched him up, but refused a trip to the hospital.

He dropped the trailer and then climbed back up in his truck.


	18. Epolouge

**OK, last time for this I'm going to say it. I don't own Bleach**

* * *

><p>"<em>Thanks again for doing this Hoss."<em> A young woman said over the phone, long distance from Karakura.

"_Ah, it was nothing really, they are good kids, they are just trying to protect their families."_ Hoss sat at a desk in the upstairs part of his house, a box sitting off to the side. _"They keep getting feelings something isn't right and Rukia's brother has a problematic home security system."_ Hoss reached into the box and pulled out a cigar. He didn't smoke much, it was more of a hobby that he had to quit because he couldn't afford it and his friends he had cigars with had to be careful with JD watching them. It was his first cigar as a unwatched man.

"_Ok, Well, Isshin Kurosaki is leaving for the airport now. I arranged for a cab to take him to the farm. I can't reach Rukia's brother so Isshin is picking them both up."_

"_If he's anything like Ichigo says he is, this will be one big last hurrah for them__."_ Hoss blew some smoke rings off of his cigar and hung up the phone. He got up and walked out to the barn.

(Line Break)

Hoss ran his hand over the Mack. Holes from the bullets hit the steel but damaged the fiberglass. It would take several weeks and a lot of paint to repair them.

He could hear high pitched screams and looked out to see Rukia soaked and Ichigo holding a garden hose in one hand and a sponge in the other with a look of cluelessness on his face. Rukia however had steam lofting off of her slightly from how pissed she was.

Hoss chuckled as Ichigo ran like his life depended on it. Orihime sat nearby, glancing over and watching the fish in the pond near the house when she wasn't watching the Discovery Channel special in the making.

'_Ah Ichigo. You are too focused on protecting that you have 2 women who are almost competing for your attention.'_

(Line Break)

"**MY IDIOT SON!"** Hoss was bent over working on the Mack as Isshin leapt out of the cab and sprinted to Ichigo, only to try and deliver a roundhouse kick to the teen. Two teenaged girls, one with sandy blonde hair and the other with a short black haircut. He walked out to stand beside them.

"Are they always like this?"

"Pretty much." The black haired one looked like she wanted nothing to do with what was going on.

Hoss watched as Ichigo delivered a powerful hook to his father's face, knocking him out and sending the older man flying.

(Line Break)

Hoss watched as the charter bus pulled out of his driveway. The Karakura group was now on their way to catch a flight back to Japan.

The four-wheel cowboy strode over to Black Widow and climbed in, he was going to make a visit to an old friend.

(Line Break)

"Hello." A woman who was in her mid 30's greeted Hoss at the door. "How can I help you?"

"I'm here to see Spencer Henderson." Hoss looked at the woman as she looked at him like he was crazy. "Just tell him it's Hoss Lohmar." He watched her type on the computer. Within a few seconds, there was a ping.

"Please go down the hallway to the end and the hallway dead ends. Take that elevator to the 77th floor."

Hoss muttered his thanks and walked down the hallway and got in the elevator.

(Line Break)

The doors slid open to reveal a sophisticated office, high end mahogany furniture and pictures of landscaping hung on the wall. A man around the same age as Hoss, but with longer gray hair sat in the high back chair behind the desk.

"Well, long time since we've seen each other Hoss. Come in, come in. Have a cigar." the man handed Hoss a cigar.

"Thanks Spence, but I'm afraid that this is not strictly a pleasure trip."

"What's on your mind?"

"I was wondering if you still had that position open?"

(Line Break)

"It is great honor that I present the newest member of Henderson Independent Military. Corporal Hoss Lohmar, Our supply officer."

Hoss stood at attention, in a modified dress uniform. His Stetson was removed, and a pin was placed on the left side of his chest. As soon as his friend stepped away, he snapped a salute and offered his hand in a handshake.

(Line Break)

Hoss stood near Captain Kyoraku as the captains were about to pass judgment on him.

"Hoss Lohmar, the captains of the 13 Court Guard Squads are ready to decide your position." Hoss looked at the Head Captain. He stood at attention that would honor any military. "Welcome the Gotei 13."


End file.
